Schizophrenia is very difficult to deal with in life. It is even more difficult when you throw relationships into the mix. Many people do not understand what we experience and thus tend to stay away from us. Also, people tend to be afraid of us too because we act bizarrely. All this makes it very difficult for those of us with Schizophrenia when it comes to relationships. In this blog, I shall discuss some positive things that one can expect when in a relationship with someone who suffers from Schizophrenia. This blog aims to eliminate the stigma around Schizophrenia in the hopes that people will be more open to being in relationships with us. I will admit that not everything I say will apply to everyone who suffers from Schizophrenia, though. As with all people, we are all individuals and Schizophrenia affects us all differently. Schizophrenia is on a spectrum. There is Schizoaffective Disorder (which I have) where one experiences delusions and hallucinations of typical Schizophrenia but then it is mixed with a mood disorder such as Bipolar or Depression. Then, there is Schizotypal Disorder, which affects one's personality. However, there are some commonalities that all people on the Schizophrenia spectrum experience. Some of these commonalities are good and some are bad. For the purpose of this blog, I shall focus on the positive traits. From my own experience, there are basically three common benefits of being in a relationship with a person with Schizophrenia. By the way, when I say "relationship", I am talking about romantic relationships, but the benefits I will name for romantic relationships will apply to friendships as well. These three benefits of being in a relationship with someone with Schizophrenia are the following:
1) We Are More In Touch With Our Emotions
2) We Tend To Be More Understanding
3) We Tend To Be More Loyal
I will elaborate on all of these points, but first I would like to say that I am not saying that these points do not at all apply to people who do not suffer from Schizophrenia. Of course, these traits can apply to other people as well. However, I have found that these traits seem to be more prominent in people who have Schizophrenia or any other mental illness. Also, these are not the only benefits of being in a relationship with someone with Schizophrenia. There are many more benefits but these are the main ones I can think of. If you can think of any more, please let me know in the comments. Now, it is time for me to elaborate on my points.
We Are In Touch With Our Emotions
I have found for those of us who are on the Schizophrenia spectrum have a tendency to experience our emotions more deeply than other people. Obviously, this does have a negative side to it, but it also has a positive side as well. For example, when we love someone, we tend to really express our love in tangible ways more than other people do. I know in my life personally there is not a day that goes by where I am not constantly reminding my wife of my love for her and expressing just how much she means to me too. I also always make every effort to make sure I spend quality time with her too. Even when we do not have much money to spend on someone, we will still look for any kind of way to express our adoration for a person whom we appreciate. We also feel sadness more deeply than most other people too. How is this positive, you ask? Well, it means that we can more sympathize with others. This leads me to my next point.
We Tend To Be More Understanding
It is precisely because we experience feelings more deeply than others that we are more understanding of other people's suffering. I know for me personally my heart breaks whenever I see someone hurting, even if they are a complete stranger on a bus. I do not know what it is exactly, but it is probably because we understand what it means to suffer that it makes us more apt to understand the suffering of others. It is for this reason that I do not judge someone when they are suffering and expressing their anger towards God. I know all too well what it is like to be angry with the Lord. This is why I found that it is easier to talk to someone who has a mental illness when I am suffering than it is to talk to someone who does not have a mental illness. The fact that we are more understanding of other people's suffering is the very reason why we make the most faithful companions. This leads me to my final point.
We Tend To Be More Loyal
It is precisely because we are more understanding of other people's suffering that we are not judgmental, which leads us to be more loyal to people. I have found that some of my most loyal companions are people who have mental illnesses. We tend to be more trusting of people and trustworthy too. It is probably because we tend to not have very many companions in life. After all, most people tend to shun us. However, the fact that people shun us is the very reason why we choose to cherish those people who do not shun us. I do not have very many people in my life, but I do cherish the people that the Lord has given me. I would do anything for my wife and my friends and family.
I hope that this blog gives you a different perspective on relationships when it comes to people with Schizophrenia or any kind of mental illness. We really are good to be in relationships with. Do not listen to the media when they tell you that we are all monsters. Sure, we are just as sinful and wicked as people who do not have mental illnesses because we are all born into sin. However, most of us do make an attempt to treat those who are closest to us with the utmost respect and dignity. A common question I hear from people is when should we disclose to someone that we have a mental illness? The answer to that question will be different for everyone, but I would say that it would be whenever you feel comfortable disclosing that information. However, it would be helpful to disclose your mental illness as soon as possible. The reason why I say this is because it gives the other person a chance to decide if they want to be with someone who has a mental illness and it gives you the chance to decide if the person is right for you too. Thank you for reading my blog and I hope that it blessed you. May the grace of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ richly bless you all!!
1) We Are More In Touch With Our Emotions
2) We Tend To Be More Understanding
3) We Tend To Be More Loyal
I will elaborate on all of these points, but first I would like to say that I am not saying that these points do not at all apply to people who do not suffer from Schizophrenia. Of course, these traits can apply to other people as well. However, I have found that these traits seem to be more prominent in people who have Schizophrenia or any other mental illness. Also, these are not the only benefits of being in a relationship with someone with Schizophrenia. There are many more benefits but these are the main ones I can think of. If you can think of any more, please let me know in the comments. Now, it is time for me to elaborate on my points.
We Are In Touch With Our Emotions
I have found for those of us who are on the Schizophrenia spectrum have a tendency to experience our emotions more deeply than other people. Obviously, this does have a negative side to it, but it also has a positive side as well. For example, when we love someone, we tend to really express our love in tangible ways more than other people do. I know in my life personally there is not a day that goes by where I am not constantly reminding my wife of my love for her and expressing just how much she means to me too. I also always make every effort to make sure I spend quality time with her too. Even when we do not have much money to spend on someone, we will still look for any kind of way to express our adoration for a person whom we appreciate. We also feel sadness more deeply than most other people too. How is this positive, you ask? Well, it means that we can more sympathize with others. This leads me to my next point.
We Tend To Be More Understanding
It is precisely because we experience feelings more deeply than others that we are more understanding of other people's suffering. I know for me personally my heart breaks whenever I see someone hurting, even if they are a complete stranger on a bus. I do not know what it is exactly, but it is probably because we understand what it means to suffer that it makes us more apt to understand the suffering of others. It is for this reason that I do not judge someone when they are suffering and expressing their anger towards God. I know all too well what it is like to be angry with the Lord. This is why I found that it is easier to talk to someone who has a mental illness when I am suffering than it is to talk to someone who does not have a mental illness. The fact that we are more understanding of other people's suffering is the very reason why we make the most faithful companions. This leads me to my final point.
We Tend To Be More Loyal
It is precisely because we are more understanding of other people's suffering that we are not judgmental, which leads us to be more loyal to people. I have found that some of my most loyal companions are people who have mental illnesses. We tend to be more trusting of people and trustworthy too. It is probably because we tend to not have very many companions in life. After all, most people tend to shun us. However, the fact that people shun us is the very reason why we choose to cherish those people who do not shun us. I do not have very many people in my life, but I do cherish the people that the Lord has given me. I would do anything for my wife and my friends and family.
I hope that this blog gives you a different perspective on relationships when it comes to people with Schizophrenia or any kind of mental illness. We really are good to be in relationships with. Do not listen to the media when they tell you that we are all monsters. Sure, we are just as sinful and wicked as people who do not have mental illnesses because we are all born into sin. However, most of us do make an attempt to treat those who are closest to us with the utmost respect and dignity. A common question I hear from people is when should we disclose to someone that we have a mental illness? The answer to that question will be different for everyone, but I would say that it would be whenever you feel comfortable disclosing that information. However, it would be helpful to disclose your mental illness as soon as possible. The reason why I say this is because it gives the other person a chance to decide if they want to be with someone who has a mental illness and it gives you the chance to decide if the person is right for you too. Thank you for reading my blog and I hope that it blessed you. May the grace of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ richly bless you all!!
Dating Site For Those Who Suffer With Mental Illnesses
-David Lee Chu Sarchet
Christian Mental Health Advocate
Check out the Christ-Centered Mental Health Ministry Website
Check out the other Christ-Centered Mental Health Ministry Website
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