Singleness in this day and age is rough. It is especially difficult for those people who suffer from mental illness. It is rough because not only do they have to struggle with keeping their mental health stable with medication and counseling, but if they desire marriage, then they have to worry about if someone they are interested in is going to overlook the fact that they have a mental illness. I know that when I was single, I was too afraid to tell someone I was dating about my mental illness. I thought that they would never understand and just reject me because they would think of me as "too crazy" to date. People with mental illness have a strong tendency to fear rejection. On top of that, we must deal with the social stigma that society and the Church put on people with mental illness. I remember when I was single, I had to deal with people thinking that I was demon-possessed or that I just simply did not have strong enough faith to lead a woman. Many Christians believe that if a man cannot work a traditional 9-5 job, then they are not a real man and that they should not even desire marriage whatsoever. All of these ideas are very harmful to those with mental illness because they alienate us from the Church and society at large. The fact is, marriage should be available to anyone who desires to be married, regardless of their mental illness or lack thereof. According to Genesis 2:24,
"Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh"
This text simply means that a man needs to eventually separate from his father and mother and be joined by his wife. This does not negate someone with a mental illness. As long as the man or woman is taking care of their mental health properly with medication and counseling and they are mature in their faith, then they should have the opportunity to marry someone whom they love. Anyone who disagrees with me has to somehow demonstrate via Scripture why a person with mental illness is for some reason disqualified from the covenant union with a partner of their choice. If we turn to Ephesians 5:22-27, we read,
"Wives, submit to your husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
Husbands love your wives, as Christ loves the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish"
As you can see from this text, wives are commanded to submit to their husbands in everything, and husbands are commanded to love their wives so much that they are willing to lay down their lives for them like Christ laid down His life for the Church. There is nothing in this text that even hints at saying that a mentally ill man or woman cannot fulfill this Scriptural mandate. A wife who has a mental illness is still capable to submit to her husband and a husband with a mental illness is still capable of loving his wife, laying down his life for her, and leading her. In my own life, I lead my wife in everything regardless of my mental illness even though I do not have a traditional 9-5 job because there is nothing prohibiting me from doing so. This does not mean that I do not take my wife's opinions and thoughts into consideration, but I do have the final word on everything. My wife understands this and she gladly submits to me, even though she knows that I have a mental illness. My life is not the exception, however. Many more people with mental illness live in successful marriages. We just do not hear about them because the Church does not really acknowledge them or even talk about them. Mental illness is still very much a taboo in the church today. As a Christian mental health advocate, I would like to see more Christian men and women with mental illness find fulfilling marriages with someone whom they love. This is why my wife and I created the Facebook group called Marriage Minded. This group is for any Christian who suffers from mental illness and desires to find a spouse. It is also for anyone who wants to help someone who has a mental illness find a spouse too. We just started the group, but by God's grace, we expect many people to join the community. If you are someone with a mental illness or if you know someone with a mental illness who desires to be married, please consider joining the Facebook group. This group is only for serious inquiries though so spammers will not be allowed in the group. Anyone from any denomination is allowed to join, except for Roman Catholics, Jehovah's Witnesses, Mormons, or any other cult that denies the Trinity. We only want real Christians to join. This group is expected to be a community full of like-minded Christians who deal with the daily life of mental illnesses where they can be transparent and raw with people in the hopes of finding someone whom they match with for a potential courtship that leads to marriage. Once they are married, they can then join our Facebook group called Holy Matrimony & Mental Illness. This group is a community of believing Christians with mental illness who are already married and need the support and love of other Christians with mental illness who are married. If you fit more in with this category, then you are free to join that one instead.
Marriage is a beautiful thing when it is done correctly in the way that the Lord wants it to be done. However, it is extremely difficult to manage but it is well worth the struggle. My wife and I are going on three years of marriage in July and the longer I remain married to her the more I realize I truly love her. She is literally the best thing to have ever happened to me besides my salvation in the Lord Jesus Christ. I want the same thing for all of my brothers and sisters in the faith who deal with various mental illnesses. So, please come join our communities and make some connections with people. You never know who will meet and, by the Lord's providence, end up marrying. May the grace of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ richly bless you all!!
-David Lee Chu Sarchet
Christian Mental Health Advocate
Check out the Christ-Centered Mental Health Ministry Website
Check out the other Christ-Centered Mental Health Ministry Website
"Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh"
This text simply means that a man needs to eventually separate from his father and mother and be joined by his wife. This does not negate someone with a mental illness. As long as the man or woman is taking care of their mental health properly with medication and counseling and they are mature in their faith, then they should have the opportunity to marry someone whom they love. Anyone who disagrees with me has to somehow demonstrate via Scripture why a person with mental illness is for some reason disqualified from the covenant union with a partner of their choice. If we turn to Ephesians 5:22-27, we read,
"Wives, submit to your husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
Husbands love your wives, as Christ loves the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish"
As you can see from this text, wives are commanded to submit to their husbands in everything, and husbands are commanded to love their wives so much that they are willing to lay down their lives for them like Christ laid down His life for the Church. There is nothing in this text that even hints at saying that a mentally ill man or woman cannot fulfill this Scriptural mandate. A wife who has a mental illness is still capable to submit to her husband and a husband with a mental illness is still capable of loving his wife, laying down his life for her, and leading her. In my own life, I lead my wife in everything regardless of my mental illness even though I do not have a traditional 9-5 job because there is nothing prohibiting me from doing so. This does not mean that I do not take my wife's opinions and thoughts into consideration, but I do have the final word on everything. My wife understands this and she gladly submits to me, even though she knows that I have a mental illness. My life is not the exception, however. Many more people with mental illness live in successful marriages. We just do not hear about them because the Church does not really acknowledge them or even talk about them. Mental illness is still very much a taboo in the church today. As a Christian mental health advocate, I would like to see more Christian men and women with mental illness find fulfilling marriages with someone whom they love. This is why my wife and I created the Facebook group called Marriage Minded. This group is for any Christian who suffers from mental illness and desires to find a spouse. It is also for anyone who wants to help someone who has a mental illness find a spouse too. We just started the group, but by God's grace, we expect many people to join the community. If you are someone with a mental illness or if you know someone with a mental illness who desires to be married, please consider joining the Facebook group. This group is only for serious inquiries though so spammers will not be allowed in the group. Anyone from any denomination is allowed to join, except for Roman Catholics, Jehovah's Witnesses, Mormons, or any other cult that denies the Trinity. We only want real Christians to join. This group is expected to be a community full of like-minded Christians who deal with the daily life of mental illnesses where they can be transparent and raw with people in the hopes of finding someone whom they match with for a potential courtship that leads to marriage. Once they are married, they can then join our Facebook group called Holy Matrimony & Mental Illness. This group is a community of believing Christians with mental illness who are already married and need the support and love of other Christians with mental illness who are married. If you fit more in with this category, then you are free to join that one instead.
Marriage is a beautiful thing when it is done correctly in the way that the Lord wants it to be done. However, it is extremely difficult to manage but it is well worth the struggle. My wife and I are going on three years of marriage in July and the longer I remain married to her the more I realize I truly love her. She is literally the best thing to have ever happened to me besides my salvation in the Lord Jesus Christ. I want the same thing for all of my brothers and sisters in the faith who deal with various mental illnesses. So, please come join our communities and make some connections with people. You never know who will meet and, by the Lord's providence, end up marrying. May the grace of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ richly bless you all!!
-David Lee Chu Sarchet
Christian Mental Health Advocate
Check out the Christ-Centered Mental Health Ministry Website
Check out the other Christ-Centered Mental Health Ministry Website
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