There is a strange phenomenon that I have noticed among those of us on the Schizophrenia spectrum. This phenomenon not only applies to people with Schizophrenia, however, but it applies to all people with mental illness. What is this phenomenon that I am speaking about? It is a phenomenon I'd like to call the "I Love God or Hate God" phenomenon. What do I mean by this? I mean I have noticed that among those of us who fall on the Schizophrenia spectrum, we either passionately love God to the point of obsession with Him or we absolutely despise Him. Rarely do I ever see one of us who is in the middle. This phenomenon is so common that it should cause any of us to wonder why this is. I have thought long and hard about this phenomenon and in this blog I shall discuss some of my thoughts concerning this, However, before I get into my thoughts, I'd like to say that I am fully aware that all people hate God before the Holy Spirit regenerates their hearts. I do not believe that anyone is neutral when it comes to God. I fully believe what Paul says in Romans 3:11 which says,
"None is righteous, no not one; no one understands, no one seeks for God"
Based on this text, not a single person seeks after God because, in our natural state, we all hate Him. However, I believe that there is a difference between passive hate for God and active hate for God. Please allow me to elaborate on this. While everyone in their natural state hates God, some people are not consciously aware of their hatred for Him. For example, professing atheists would fall under this category. On the contrary, other people are conscious of their hate for God and will actively oppose Him. I believe that some people on the Schizophrenia spectrum fall under this category. I am not saying that all people with Schizophrenia are characterized by this. Some of us are on the opposite extreme of passionately and obsessively loving God, as I have already pointed out. The question is why are we so polarized on the topic of God? In my experience (as someone who has gone from one extreme to the other), I have found three possible reasons why this is the case. These reasons are the following:
1) Religious Obsession
It is a well-known fact that people on the Schizophrenia spectrum deal with a lot of religious obsession. Whether or not we are raised in a religious home, we have a tendency to obsess over religion or even Philosophy. As a matter of fact, a lot of us tend to go into these fields of study when we enter college for that very reason. The reason we tend to obsess over religion or philosophy is partly because our delusions and hallucinations tend to revolve around the religious or philosophical. For some reason, we absolutely cannot stop thinking about religion and philosophy. I believe this is evidence that even among people who are not in touch with reality a lot of the times the imago dei is still stamped on their being. It is for this reason that we cannot stop thinking about God.
2) Rejection or Acceptance of One's Own Illness
Whether or not we learn to accept or reject our diagnoses, plays a vital role in how we relate to the Lord. What I mean by this is if we learn to accept our illness, we will then understand that the Lord gave us our illness for a purpose and it will work out for our good to His glory. This realization will cause us to love Him all the more as we deal with our personal mental health symptoms. However, if we learn to reject our diagnoses, then we will ultimately believe that God must hate us for making us this way and thus we will turn our backs on the Almighty. Rejection or acceptance of our illness will ultimately be the deciding factor over whether we love God or hate Him.
3) Isolation
"None is righteous, no not one; no one understands, no one seeks for God"
Based on this text, not a single person seeks after God because, in our natural state, we all hate Him. However, I believe that there is a difference between passive hate for God and active hate for God. Please allow me to elaborate on this. While everyone in their natural state hates God, some people are not consciously aware of their hatred for Him. For example, professing atheists would fall under this category. On the contrary, other people are conscious of their hate for God and will actively oppose Him. I believe that some people on the Schizophrenia spectrum fall under this category. I am not saying that all people with Schizophrenia are characterized by this. Some of us are on the opposite extreme of passionately and obsessively loving God, as I have already pointed out. The question is why are we so polarized on the topic of God? In my experience (as someone who has gone from one extreme to the other), I have found three possible reasons why this is the case. These reasons are the following:
1) Religious Obsession
It is a well-known fact that people on the Schizophrenia spectrum deal with a lot of religious obsession. Whether or not we are raised in a religious home, we have a tendency to obsess over religion or even Philosophy. As a matter of fact, a lot of us tend to go into these fields of study when we enter college for that very reason. The reason we tend to obsess over religion or philosophy is partly because our delusions and hallucinations tend to revolve around the religious or philosophical. For some reason, we absolutely cannot stop thinking about religion and philosophy. I believe this is evidence that even among people who are not in touch with reality a lot of the times the imago dei is still stamped on their being. It is for this reason that we cannot stop thinking about God.
2) Rejection or Acceptance of One's Own Illness
Whether or not we learn to accept or reject our diagnoses, plays a vital role in how we relate to the Lord. What I mean by this is if we learn to accept our illness, we will then understand that the Lord gave us our illness for a purpose and it will work out for our good to His glory. This realization will cause us to love Him all the more as we deal with our personal mental health symptoms. However, if we learn to reject our diagnoses, then we will ultimately believe that God must hate us for making us this way and thus we will turn our backs on the Almighty. Rejection or acceptance of our illness will ultimately be the deciding factor over whether we love God or hate Him.
3) Isolation
Another well-known fact about those of us on the Schizophrenia spectrum is that we tend to isolate ourselves a whole lot. The reason that this plays a role in why we either hate God or love God is because when we isolate ourselves we tend to ruminate on our own thoughts more often than we should. When we do this, our predominate thoughts toward the Lord will prevail causing us to feel a certain way toward Him. In other words, if we are constantly thinking negative thoughts about Him, then our beliefs about Him will be negative. However, if our constant thoughts about Him are positive, then our beliefs about Him will be positive. Unfortunately, for many of us who are on this spectrum and choosing to isolate, we tend to grow to hate God because we are always ruminating on negative thoughts concerning Him. This is why we need to get outside of our homes to socialize with others preferably at church or some kind of church function. When we do that, our thoughts will become more positive toward God naturally as we see His followers reflecting His love toward us.
I hope that this blog helps you better understand the mindset of those of us on the Schizophrenia spectrum and if you can think of any other reasons for why we either love God or hate Him please let me know in the comments below. Thank you for reading this blog and may the grace of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ richly bless you all!
-David Lee Chu Sarchet
Christian Mental Health Advocate
Check out the Christ-Centered Mental Health Ministry Website
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