For many people with mental illnesses, it is common for us to have what is called a mental health crisis from time to time. Many people who do not have mental illnesses tend to not understand how to properly respond to those of us during a mental health crisis. It is for this reason that many people react in unloving and unkind ways. Whether you would like to acknowledge it or not, there are right and wrong ways to respond to a mental health crisis. Before I get into what are appropriate ways to respond, I would like to discuss what exactly is a mental health crisis. According to the National Association of Mental Illness (NAMI), a mental health crisis is,
"any situation in which a person's behavior puts them at risk of hurting themselves or others and/or prevents them from being able to care for themselves effectively in the community"
Some examples of a mental health crisis are someone feeling depressed to the point of being suicidal, someone who is resorting to cutting themselves, someone in a panic attack, etc. It is important to note that a mental health crisis should be taken with the utmost seriousness. We should never trivialize someone's mental health crisis, even if we perceive it to be not so serious. Remember that what may appear nonsensical to us is very serious and real to them. We should never try to convince the person experiencing a mental health crisis that their crisis is "no big deal". In this blog, I shall discuss three important tips for you to keep in mind next time you encounter someone experiencing a mental health crisis. If you keep these tips in mind, then you will be able to help your loved ones more easily. These tips are the following:
1) Do Not Provoke
2) Be Present
3) Stay Calm
I will elaborate on each of these points, but first I'd like to mention that these are not the only ways you can help your loved one in a mental health crisis. These are just the main tips I would like to focus on for the sake of this blog. If you can think of any more, please feel free to comment below. Now, it is time for me to elaborate on each of these points.
Do Not Provoke
In Proverbs 15:1 we read,
"A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger"
Basically, Solomon is telling us that our words can either calm someone down or make them more angry. When dealing with someone in a mental health crisis, we must remember to watch how we speak to the person. Our words can trigger the person to fall deeper into their crisis. And not only do we need to mind our words, but we also need to watch our tone of voice too. For many people who are prone to having a mental health crisis, other people's tone of voice can be enough to send us off the edge. This does not mean that you need to speak to us like we are children (actually, for many of us that would set us off too). What it does mean, however, is if our tone is angry or frustrated, we will sense that and respond in anger or frustration. Once this happens, our mental health crisis will inevitably escalate. For this reason, it is best for you to approach us in a kind and compassionate way and to speak to us respectfully no matter how we are behaving. Believe me when I say that if you approach us with kindness, then that will go a long in calming us down. But, if you approach us in anger, then we just may explode. If you are someone who cannot help but get angry when we are in a mental health crisis, then it may be best for you to take a backseat while someone else helps us out.
Be Present
The best thing that Job's friends ever did for him was when they merely sat with him for three days without saying a word, but they ruined it once they opened their mouths. I understand that it is difficult to just sit with someone who is having a mental health crisis. We are hard-wired to always try to fix a problem. However, in a lot of cases of people experiencing a mental health crisis, we typically do not need you to "fix" us. All we need is for people to be there for us and to let us know that they care. You can do this by sitting with us during our crisis. Or you can offer to walk in the park with us or even take us out for some ice cream. You can even do something as simple as playing a video game with us to help us distract our minds. Regardless of what you decide to do, just your presence around us will go a long way in helping us remember that we do have people in our lives who truly care.
Stay Calm
I know that this tip will probably be the most difficult one to abide by for a lot of people. I completely understand that some people can be triggered by another person's mental health crisis. Like I said earlier, if you are one of those people, then it is okay for you to sit back and allow someone else to be there for the person. You need to remain calm so that you will be level-headed enough to know what steps you must take to help your loved one. It would probably be best for you to keep some emergency contacts on you just in case too. We can read your body language and tone of voice very well and if we sense you are being hostile, then we will either be hostile back or we will clam up and not respond to you whatsoever. It would also help if while you are remaining calm you could pray over and for us while we are dealing with our crisis. Prayer can and does go a long way in helping us because the Holy Spirit is active in our lives. As James tells us in chapter 5:13-15,
"Is any among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing praise. Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of his church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer of faith will save the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven"
If you have been a believer for any amount of time, then you should understand that there is power in a believer's prayers to the Lord. Most of us with mental illness will not be opposed to you praying over us and most likely that is what we especially need when we are in our mental health crisis.
I would like to thank you all for taking the time to read my blog and I sincerely hope that this better equips you to know how to react to your loved one when they are in a mental health crisis. However, if you have followed these tips and your loved one is still experiencing the crisis, then you may need to take them to a local crisis center in your area or the emergency room to have them evaluated. But, hopefully, it will not come to that. May the grace of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ richly bless you all!
-David Lee Chu Sarchet
Christian Mental Health Advocate
Check out the Christ-Centered Mental Health Ministry Website
"any situation in which a person's behavior puts them at risk of hurting themselves or others and/or prevents them from being able to care for themselves effectively in the community"
Some examples of a mental health crisis are someone feeling depressed to the point of being suicidal, someone who is resorting to cutting themselves, someone in a panic attack, etc. It is important to note that a mental health crisis should be taken with the utmost seriousness. We should never trivialize someone's mental health crisis, even if we perceive it to be not so serious. Remember that what may appear nonsensical to us is very serious and real to them. We should never try to convince the person experiencing a mental health crisis that their crisis is "no big deal". In this blog, I shall discuss three important tips for you to keep in mind next time you encounter someone experiencing a mental health crisis. If you keep these tips in mind, then you will be able to help your loved ones more easily. These tips are the following:
1) Do Not Provoke
2) Be Present
3) Stay Calm
I will elaborate on each of these points, but first I'd like to mention that these are not the only ways you can help your loved one in a mental health crisis. These are just the main tips I would like to focus on for the sake of this blog. If you can think of any more, please feel free to comment below. Now, it is time for me to elaborate on each of these points.
Do Not Provoke
In Proverbs 15:1 we read,
"A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger"
Basically, Solomon is telling us that our words can either calm someone down or make them more angry. When dealing with someone in a mental health crisis, we must remember to watch how we speak to the person. Our words can trigger the person to fall deeper into their crisis. And not only do we need to mind our words, but we also need to watch our tone of voice too. For many people who are prone to having a mental health crisis, other people's tone of voice can be enough to send us off the edge. This does not mean that you need to speak to us like we are children (actually, for many of us that would set us off too). What it does mean, however, is if our tone is angry or frustrated, we will sense that and respond in anger or frustration. Once this happens, our mental health crisis will inevitably escalate. For this reason, it is best for you to approach us in a kind and compassionate way and to speak to us respectfully no matter how we are behaving. Believe me when I say that if you approach us with kindness, then that will go a long in calming us down. But, if you approach us in anger, then we just may explode. If you are someone who cannot help but get angry when we are in a mental health crisis, then it may be best for you to take a backseat while someone else helps us out.
Be Present
The best thing that Job's friends ever did for him was when they merely sat with him for three days without saying a word, but they ruined it once they opened their mouths. I understand that it is difficult to just sit with someone who is having a mental health crisis. We are hard-wired to always try to fix a problem. However, in a lot of cases of people experiencing a mental health crisis, we typically do not need you to "fix" us. All we need is for people to be there for us and to let us know that they care. You can do this by sitting with us during our crisis. Or you can offer to walk in the park with us or even take us out for some ice cream. You can even do something as simple as playing a video game with us to help us distract our minds. Regardless of what you decide to do, just your presence around us will go a long way in helping us remember that we do have people in our lives who truly care.
Stay Calm
I know that this tip will probably be the most difficult one to abide by for a lot of people. I completely understand that some people can be triggered by another person's mental health crisis. Like I said earlier, if you are one of those people, then it is okay for you to sit back and allow someone else to be there for the person. You need to remain calm so that you will be level-headed enough to know what steps you must take to help your loved one. It would probably be best for you to keep some emergency contacts on you just in case too. We can read your body language and tone of voice very well and if we sense you are being hostile, then we will either be hostile back or we will clam up and not respond to you whatsoever. It would also help if while you are remaining calm you could pray over and for us while we are dealing with our crisis. Prayer can and does go a long way in helping us because the Holy Spirit is active in our lives. As James tells us in chapter 5:13-15,
"Is any among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing praise. Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of his church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer of faith will save the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven"
If you have been a believer for any amount of time, then you should understand that there is power in a believer's prayers to the Lord. Most of us with mental illness will not be opposed to you praying over us and most likely that is what we especially need when we are in our mental health crisis.
I would like to thank you all for taking the time to read my blog and I sincerely hope that this better equips you to know how to react to your loved one when they are in a mental health crisis. However, if you have followed these tips and your loved one is still experiencing the crisis, then you may need to take them to a local crisis center in your area or the emergency room to have them evaluated. But, hopefully, it will not come to that. May the grace of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ richly bless you all!
-David Lee Chu Sarchet
Christian Mental Health Advocate
Check out the Christ-Centered Mental Health Ministry Website
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