Thursday, October 12, 2023

My Medicine Journey



The use of psychiatric medicine tends to be a controversial subject that divides many Christians today. Some Christians believe that there is no use for psychiatric medication for believers because we have the Holy Spirit. These same Christians tend to not have a problem with believers taking an aspirin for their headaches, however. Other Christians believe that there is a use for psychiatric medications but only as a supplement. These Christians would say that we should not idolize medication. I tend to agree with the latter instead of the former. As someone who deals with Schizoaffective Disorder Bipolar Type, I can say that I have benefited greatly from the use of my psychiatric medication. If it were not for my medication, I would either be dead or locked away in a prison today. Still, it did take me over ten years before I found the right medication that works for me. I know that may seem daunting and for many people who deal with mental illnesses that seems like a journey, they do not want to embark on. These people tend to think that if the medication does not work right away they want to give up on them. I see it all the time with people. They think that unless they see immediate results the medication is no good. However, they are taking a huge risk by not taking their medication. In this blog, I shall discuss my medication journey to give you some encouragement to continue working to find the right medication that works for you. It may take you some time, but you need to be patient with yourself. Hopefully, it does not take over ten years like it did me, but if it does your mental sanity is worth it. I suggest you be open and honest with your psychiatrist completely because if you are not then it will be harder for them to help you. My journey will be split up into five categories: Depression years, Bipolar type 2 years, Medication, Bipolar Type 1, and Present day. I hope that by the time you finish reading this blog, you will see that taking your medication is indeed one of the most important things you can do in your life. I hope that you do not feel like you are less of a Christian because you have to take psychiatric medication. God heals people frequently through the ordinary means of modern medicine. So, there is no need to be ashamed. If you have diabetes, then you will need to take insulin shots for your ailment. There is no shame in that just like there is no shame in taking medication for your mental health. 

Depression Years

When I was first diagnosed with mental illness, the psychiatrist at the time thought I had Clinical Depression. To be fair, I was pretty depressed because this was the time I was first taken from my family and put into foster care. I was thirteen years old. I did not fully understand what was going on and I really missed my mom and stepdad. They were the only family I knew. At the time, the psychiatrist prescribed some antidepressants. I do not remember exactly what I was on, but I do remember that it caused me to be hungry all the time. As a result, I gained a lot of weight, and the psychiatrist put me on a "no sugar diet" because of this. Also, I became very manic at the time. I did not know I was manic, but I did feel very energetic and hyper. I would talk a mile a minute and I was constantly getting into fights with my foster brothers. Then, I would easily slip into depression states where I felt suicidal. I was hospitalized many times because of this. No one knew exactly what was going on with me and neither did I. During this time, I would frequently have a hallucination where a giant fly with a human face would chase me down the halls of my school. 

Bipolar Type 2 Years

When I was sixteen years old, I was sent to juvenile detention because I set my foster home on fire. I am not entirely sure why I did that, except for the fact that I was feeling unloved, and I thought that if I did something heroic then people would love me. My intent was to start the fire and save everyone from dying. In retrospect, I now realize that was a mistake. Anyway, I eventually was put into a treatment center called Southern Peaks Regional Treatment Center. In that place, I had a therapist who diagnosed me with Bipolar Type 2 disorder. I was immediately prescribed some mood stabilizers such as Geodone and Depakote along with antidepressants. The Geodone made me feel very hungry and again I gained a lot of weight. The time I was on Depakote, I became like a walking zombie. I was sleeping all the time and when I was awake, I would be incoherent. As a result, the psychiatrist tried a whole slew of other medications, but to no avail. I would frequently be in manic episodes where I would stay awake most nights and be full of energy, and then I would slip into depression, where I would become suicidal and begin cutting myself. As a result, I had many hospitalizations during this time. 

Medication Free Years 

As soon as I became an adult, I decided to stop taking any and all medications. It was not because I did not think I did not have a mental illness. I knew full well that I did, but I thought that I could manage well without them. I would self-medicate with smoking cigarettes. At this time, I was smoking at least a pack a day of Menthol cigarettes. To be honest, the cigarettes did help me manage somewhat, but I still had bouts of mania and depression. Actually, my mania would cause me to either lose jobs or abruptly quit jobs. I went through jobs like a child goes through candy. Also, I had delusional episodes where I believed I was the antichrist and I also believed that God told me that I would marry three different women on three different occasions. Then, I would slip into depression where I would become suicidal. I was frequently put into mental hospitals and prescribed medication, but I would stop taking them as soon as I was out. During this time, I would always create fake Facebook accounts that I truly believed were real people. I cannot explain this phenomenon, but I honestly believed that they were real people, and they were real in my head. This went on for many years and caused many people strife with me. 

Bipolar Type 1

When I was around twenty-six, I met a woman who I began dating, and she convinced me to start taking medication again. This time I was diagnosed with Bipolar Type 1 disorder and I was prescribed medication specifically to help my mania. The first medication I was prescribed was Abilify. Abilify caused me to have a flat effect on my moods. I literally did not feel anything at all. I remember once telling her that I did not think I could get angry anymore. Needless to say, I was eventually taken off that medication and put on Trazadone. This medication made me very groggy during the day. I did not like this medication at all and eventually, I was taken off of it. Next, I was prescribed Welbutrin and that did nothing for me whatsoever. There were not even any side effects either. Eventually, I was taken off of that too. During this time, I had many bouts with mania, and one of these times I believed that it was biblically prophesied to harm former president Donald Trump. 

Present Day

Eventually, I was finally diagnosed with Schizoaffective Disorder Bipolar Type and prescribed some antipsychotics along with mood stabilizers. I was taking Lithium and Risperidone. These seemed to help tremendously. However, I still experienced some hypomania and I wanted that to cease so I had my doctor prescribe  Clozapine. However, the Clozapine ended up perforating my colon and I ended up in the hospital for three months because I went into septic shock. So, I was taken off of that medication. Finally, I ended up on Risperidone, Zyprexa, and Lamictal. This medication concoction is working the best for me. I still have some bouts with hypomania, but I do not have any full-blown manic episodes or depression anymore. I also do not really deal with hallucinations anymore, except on rare occasions. Overall, I am doing a whole better mentally because I am much more stable. I can think more clearly too and the good news is that I do not experience hardly any side effects. I am thankful to the Lord for providing me with these medications. 

I would like to thank you for taking the time to read my blog and I hope that it gives you some encouragement to continue taking your medication. As I have said earlier, it could literally cost you your life if you go off of your medication. According to James 1:17, all good gifts from God. Medication is a good blessing and thus they are from the Lord. Keep this in mind as you think about your own medication journey. May the grace of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ richly bless you all! 

-David Lee Chu Sarchet 
Christian Mental Health Advocate 

Check out the Christ-Centered Mental Health Ministry Website








 

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