Why Does Most Marriages With Mental Illnesses Seem To Fail?

It is heartbreaking whenever I hear of a marriage that fails. It is especially heartbreaking whenever a marriage fails because of mental illness. It is already hard enough for those of us with mental illnesses to find a spouse so it is even more devastating when the marriage ends. You may be wondering how common is this phenomenon exactly, right? I have seen estimates say that about 20 to 80% of marriages that deal with mental illnesses end in divorce. This means that when one or both spouses have mental illness the marriage is at a greater risk of divorce than normal marriages. On the one hand, this is totally understandable. I say this because marriage is hard enough on its own, but it is even more difficult when you throw mental illness into the mix. On the other hand, this is a devastating fact because the marriage covenant is supposed to be for a lifetime. The marriage between one man and one woman is supposed to be a beautiful reflection of Christ's relationship with His bride. Unfortunately, because we are sinful, we do not always reflect this image perfectly. We are self-centered and selfish individuals who always seem to want things our way. When things do not go our way, our first response is to flee. As Christians, our first response to hardship should not be this way. In this blog, I shall give you some important tips on how to make your marriage work while dealing with a mental illness. Keep in mind that your marriage will be difficult especially when one spouse has a mental illness. I would be lying to you if I said it would be easy. I admit that I do not follow my own advice perfectly, as my wife would testify to that fact. However, when we fail, there is grace. If you follow this advice to the best of your abilities, you will be well on your way to having a successful and godly marriage that is pleasing to the Lord. As a husband with mental illness, I will be writing this blog to other husbands with mental illness. I cannot give advice to women in this position because I am not a woman obviously. However, women who read this can still benefit from this in the way of seeing what kind of man they should seek to marry. I will separate this blog into three categories: Dying To Self, Understanding, and Leadership. I know that these are not the only methods that lead to a successful and godly marriage, but these are the main categories I would like to focus on for the sake of this blog. If you would like to add more, please feel free to do so in the comments below. Now, I will elaborate on my points. 

Dying To Self 

In Ephesians 5:25, we read the following, 

"Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her..." 

This is a profound statement that Paul is making here. As husbands, we love our wives the same way that Christ loves His church. What does this look like? Well, Jesus loved His bride so much that He was willing to die for her. In the same way, we should be willing to die for our wives. I mean this both in a literal way and a figurative way. When it comes to physical harm, we should be willing to protect our wives from any and all physical harm. However, we should also die to ourselves daily for our wives' sake. This means that when our favorite sports game is on and our wife wants to spend quality time, we should be willing to forego watching the game to spend time doing something our wives would like to do together. It also means that if our wives ask us to do something that requires our time and attention, we should forsake doing whatever it is we would prefer doing to do what they ask us to do instead. I understand that this is asking a lot from us because our mental illnesses tend to make us selfish and self-centered, but the Scriptures command us to literally die to ourselves for our wives. This means that we need to put our wives' needs, desires, and wants before our needs, desires, and wants. It is easier said than done, but with the Holy Spirit's help and guidance, it is possible. 

Understanding

When we turn to 1 Peter 3:7, we read the following, 

"...husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered" 

When Peter here refers to women as the weaker vessels, he is not only speaking about physical strength. Women are the weaker vessels in the sense that they are more easily led astray than men are. I know that this truth runs counter to what our culture says, but I am more concerned about what Scripture says. As you can see from this text, we are commanded to live in an understanding way towards our wives. This means that we should always be learning about them. As men, we are so quick to learn the stats of our favorite athletes or even learn more about our favorite hobbies. However, so many of us fail to learn about our wives. Our wives should be our main priority in this life and because of that they should also be the main subject our our interest to learn about. When was the last time you asked your wife what her favorite song of the day was? When was the last time you asked your wife what she is currently interested in for the day? I confess that I too often fail in this endeavor myself. As men with mental illnesses, we tend to be so caught up with our own stuff that we neglect learning about our wives. It is a tragic thing when we do this and it does not please God. Did you notice how this verse ends? When we neglect to learn about our wives, our prayers really are hindered. I believe that the reason our prayers are hindered is because we are not properly reflecting the image of Christ and His bride and thus God is not pleased with us. I would even dare say that when we do not live in an understanding way towards our wives, we are living in sin before the Lord. 

Leadership

When we turn back to Ephesians 5:23, we read the following, 

"For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its savior" 

As you can clearly see from this text the husband is supposed to be the head of his wife. This means it is the responsibility of the husband to lead his wife. Furthermore, it is the wife's responsibility to submit to her husband. I know that this is a controversial subject today, but it is the truth. As husbands, we are responsible for the way we lead our wives. Our mental illnesses do not excuse us from this task. I understand that our mental illnesses can, and often do, cause us to become slack in our leadership. There are days when I would much prefer to sit in front of the television instead of leading my wife in family devotions. However, the reality is that we are always leading our wives no matter what. When we are taking a passive role, we are still leading them just as much as when we are taking an active role. The only difference is that when we are passive in our leadership, we are leading our wives away from the Lord. And when we are active in our leadership, we are leading our wives toward the Lord. As Christian men, it should cause us great shame when we think about how much we fail to lead our wives properly either due to laziness or just being plain inconsiderate and selfish. Our mental illnesses are absolutely no excuse to neglect our leadership role over our wives and when we neglect this responsibility, the Lord is not pleased with us. 

I hope that this blog helps you better understand what makes a successful marriage when it comes to dealing with mental illnesses. As I have already stated, if you follow these tips, it will lead you into a more fulfilling and successful marriage that pleases God. However, if you have failed to follow any of these tips, do not worry. You are not condemned (Romans 8:1). We all fail in one way or another because we are all sinful human beings. If you have failed in any way, confess your sin to God, and then allow Him to pick you back up so you can try again with the Holy Spirit's guidance. Thank you for taking the time to read this blog and please share this with someone you think needs to read this. May the grace of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ richly bless you all! 

-David Lee Chu Sarchet 
Christian Mental Health Advocate 

Check out the Christ-Centered Mental Health Ministry Website

What I Am Thankful For This Thanksgiving Season

 

"Enter His gates with thanksgiving, and into His courts with praise. Be thankful to Him, and bless His name" -Psalm 100:4 

As we draw nearer to Thanksgiving day, it is natural for us to think about all the blessings that the Lord has given us. The Lord truly has been good to His people, but in a lot of ways we tend to take His blessings for granted sometimes. It is part of our sinful nature that causes us to think that God owes us what He has blessed us with. However, this is the wrong way for us to think. God does not owe us anything. We are rebels against Him and because of that, all we deserve is death. For this reason, any blessing the Lord grants us is solely because of His grace alone. I understand that during this time of year, it may be difficult for some people to be thankful. For a lot of people, the holiday season brings to mind a lot of pain and heartache. But, no matter how much pain you have experienced during this time, I know that there are some things you can be thankful for. Whether it is the fact that you have a roof over your head or that you are in good health, every one of us has something to be grateful for during this time. I believe that as Christians, we should always think about what we are thankful for because we know the Giver of All Good Gifts. Tons of psychological studies have shown the benefits of having a heart of gratitude. People who are more grateful for what they have tend to be less stressed in life and as a result, they tend to live much longer. They also tend to be much more physically and mentally healthy. I understand that life is all about struggle since the Fall of Adam, but there are still good things about life and if we can take a moment to look at what we have instead of what we do not have, we will benefit greatly. In this blog, I shall discuss some things that I am thankful to the Lord for. The purpose of this blog is to get the reader to begin thinking about what they are thankful for during this time. The things I will be posting are in a particular order from most grateful to least grateful, but I would like to say that they all hold special significance in my heart. Instead, all of my blessings are on equal footing in my opinion. After you finish reading what I am thankful for, please feel free to comment below and let me know what you are thankful for. I would love to know. 

1) I am thankful for the Lord Jesus Christ saved me from the pits of hell by His shed blood on the cross 

I cannot stress this enough because if it were not for the sacrifice of Christ, I would literally be lost without Him. I cannot even begin to fathom exactly how much it cost Him to be my sacrifice, but I am always grateful for what He did on my behalf. When I contemplate what He did for me, it causes me to love Him all the more. 

2) The Support of My Wife 

I really appreciate the love and unconditional support of my wife. She demonstrates genuine Christ-like love towards me during my high times and my low times. I know we have only been married for a little over three years, but I can honestly say that I could not have married a better woman. She truly means the entire world to me. 

3) My Sisters 

I love my sisters dearly because they have always been there for me my entire life, even when I made things very difficult for them. They never wavered in their love for me. I know that it was because of their love, support, and prayers for me that I can say I am the man I am today. My sisters will always be special in my heart. 

4) My best friends and brothers, Joe Roman, Chuck Ward, Britton Garleb,  and Joseph McDermott 

These four godly men have been pretty much the very best friends that I have ever had in my entire life. We may not see eye to eye on quite a few things, but I know that in the line of battle, we would take a bullet for each other. I appreciate how I can always be myself around these four guys and they never judge me harshly. I can truly say that I love these brothers in Christ from the bottom of my heart. 

5) My Spiritual Father, Marv Adamo 

Marv has been a great influence in my life. I appreciate how he never hesitates to set me straight with one of his infamous lectures. I have learned a lot about faith in Christ from being discipled by him. I appreciate how I've always been able to be myself around him and he never judged me also. I even have been able to be vulnerable in front of him too and he still showed me the love of Christ. 

6) Stonebridge Evangelical Presbyterian Church 

I absolutely love my church family because they have been awesome at showing my wife and me unconditional love and support. I appreciate that when I was laid up in the hospital for three months, they did not cease showing me love. They would actually go out of their way to make sure I knew I was not alone during that time. This church has been phenomenal at sharing Christ's love with me. 


7) The Christ-Centered Mental Health Ministry & Team 

I am so very thankful for the call that the Lord has placed on my life. For the longest time, I felt like my life had no purpose, but now I feel like I am meant for something important. I take my call to be a Christian Mental Health Advocate seriously, which is why I work so hard at being the best advocate I can be. I am also very thankful for the team that the Lord led me to put together because it is because of their support that I can keep going. I love their feedback and encouraging words. 


8) My Psychiatrist and Therapist 

I am so very thankful for my psychiatrist and therapist because the Lord has really used them in my life to keep me stable and out of the hospital or prison. I do not know where I'd be today if it were not for these kinds of services. I know that mental health treatment is pretty controversial in today's day and age, but I see the benefits of these treatments in my own life. For this reason alone I praise God for the mental health services I am receiving. 

9) Thomas Wernert Center 

I love the Thomas Wernert Center for a variety of reasons. For one, I enjoy the fact that I can socialize with other people with various mental illnesses such as myself. It feels nice not being the odd man out for once. Secondly, I love that they provide me with the tools to know how to handle my own mental health properly and they also help to better understand my own mental illness better. I understand that this place is a secular organization, but I love the work they do to provide us with positive peer support, advocacy, and knowledge. Lastly, I really enjoy the support groups they have to offer because I enjoy talking to people who think like I do and who truly understand me too. 

I hope that you can see from this blog that we can find anything to be thankful for. They do not have to be extravagant things. They can be small blessings in our lives, but still hold a lot of significance to us. It would do us a lot of good if we thought about what we are thankful for instead of what we do not have more often. So, tell me, what is it that you are thankful for this Thanksgiving season? I'd love to know! May the grace of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ richly bless you all! 

-David Lee Chu Sarchet 
Christian Mental Health Advocate 

Check out the Christ-Centered Mental Health Ministry Website

Dealing With Mental Illness While Being Asian

 

It is pretty tough to live as an Asian-American. I say this because not only do you have to live up to your parent's high expectations, but you also have to fight against negative stereotypes of Asians in society. To further compound the problem, it is even tougher to be Asian when you throw mental illness into the mix. The reason I say this is because mental illness is still very much a taboo that is hardly ever talked about in traditional Asian cultures. As a half-Asian man who grew up with his Chinese mother, who had Schizoaffective Disorder, I have personally witnessed how hard it is for an Asian who experiences mental health struggles. As a matter of fact, even I have my own struggles with Schizoaffective Disorder too. For this reason, I feel like I understand my mother better than most people did in her life. I understand the shame that there is to be an Asian who has to take mental illness medication. I understand what it is like to be an Asian who cannot talk about their mental health struggles and so we end up bottling everything up until we finally explode. It is no surprise that in China the suicide rate for 15-24-year-olds was about 6.8% per year between the years 2010-2017, but then by 2021, the suicide rate went up to 19.6%. This is not surprising because when you grow up in a culture that suppresses all talk about mental health, young people inevitably have no outlet to express themselves, and thus there are devastating effects. But, what are the reasons why Asians do not talk about mental health? I shall discuss some of these reasons in this blog. Afterward, I will talk about what the resolution for this problem is. The purpose of this blog is to help get a conversation about mental illness to get started in Asian homes. As someone who dealt with a mother who refused to get her illnesses taken care of, I know firsthand how ignoring mental health can destroy one's mind and life. 

Shame-Based Society 

A lot of Asian communities and households operate on a shame-based ideology. What I mean by this is that in a lot of Asian communities and households, Asian people believe in behaving in a certain dignified way that does not bring shame to the family. It is for this reason that you will rarely see an Asian acting a fool in public. Shame to the family is sort of like blasphemy in many Asian communities. It is for this reason that mental illness is swept under the rug. Many Asian households do not want to admit that they have a mentally ill loved one because they are afraid that it will bring shame and dishonor to their family. Many traditional Asian households will readily admit to having a criminal in their family before they will admit to having a mentally ill person.  A lot of traditional Asian households, especially the more Buddhist ones, tend to see mental illness as the result of one's Karma because they lived a horrible past life. As a result of this belief, it is not difficult to see why a lot of Asians tend to think someone with mental illness deserves their plight and deserves to be treated as if they are a social pariah. 

Proud & Hard Working 

In many traditional Asian communities, we are very hard-working in our societies. As a result of this, we tend to be very proud of our accomplishments. There is nothing inherently wrong with this. After all, one should be proud of what they accomplished in life. However, in many traditional Asian communities, the pride we feel often is a facade'. I say this because our pride masks anything bad we may be experiencing, such as mental illness. Asians are not allowed to express if they are having a bad mental health day. We are expected to be stoic and not show any emotion so that we can excel at whatever we put our minds to. I remember many times when my mother would slap me in the face whenever I would allow my emotions to get the better of me. A lot of Asian communities frown upon a man showing emotion, whether in public or in private, while it is only looked down upon when a woman shows emotion in public. As a result, I learned from a very young age to not express my emotions openly. 

Model Minority Myth 

I believe that the so-called "Model Minority Myth" has been very detrimental for any Asian, like myself, who struggles with mental illness. What exactly is the Model  Minority Myth? According to learningforjustice.org, the Model Minority Myth is, 

"based on stereotypes. It perpetuates the stereotypes in which Asian-American children are whiz kids or musical geniuses. Within the myth of the model minority, Tiger moms force children to work harder and be better than everyone else, while nerdy, effeminate dads hold prestigious- but not leadership-- positions in STEM industries like medicine or accounting"

It is because of this myth that I have felt like I was an outcast within Asian circles. While I had a lot of Asian friends, I always felt like they were somehow better than me, and that they could never know about my mental illness. I felt if they knew about that, then they would completely shun me because I would be seen as a "freak of nature". As a result, I kept my mental illness a secret for a very long time, and it literally ate a hole in my soul. I was always afraid of being found out by my friends and this caused me to resort to all kinds of tactics to keep my mental illness covered up. 

So, what can we do about this problem within the Asian community? I actually have three solutions, but they are not going to be easy, nor will they be fun. However, if we are going to put an end to the stigmatization of mental illness within Asian communities, then the hard work must be done. I will say that the following is not a comprehensive list because obviously there is much more we can do to eliminate stigma in Asian circles. But, if we can follow these three steps, then it will go a long way in ending the stigma. 

Raise Awareness 

This first step actually may sound like a scary one. I understand how it could be tough to be the only one in your family talking about your own mental health struggles. However, I have learned that when you open the conversation, you will find many other people who are experiencing something similar. Most people keep their mental health struggles to themselves because they think that they are alone. But, if you start talking about your own struggles, then others will begin opening up about their struggles. As a result of all this opening up to one another, we will no longer feel like social pariahs within our own communities anymore because we will realize that there are other people just like us. 

Educate Yourself 

This second step is a little more difficult because it requires you to do a whole lot of studying. However, if we are going to be excellent advocates for mental health, then we have to know the ins and outs of mental illness. The more that you know, the easier it will be for you to answer your family and friend's questions concerning mental illness. Also, the more you know, the more credible you seem. I recommend two YouTube channels to look up to get you started on your journey toward educating yourself on mental health: Living Well With Schizophrenia and Polar Warriors. Both of these channels are excellent sources to go to to learn about Schizophrenia and Bipolar.  

Do Not Hide Your Feelings 

I know this one might be the toughest step of all because so many of us were raised to not express emotion, but that is why this is the most important step of all. For us to break the stigma, we must intentionally go against the grain. This means that if you feel like crying in public, do not be afraid to do so. If you feel like shouting out of anger in public, then do that. Do not be scared of the stares and disapproving looks that you will receive. If Asians in our communities see other Asians expressing themselves freely then maybe they will realize that it is normal to feel frustrated or sad. Then, maybe that will free them to openly express their own emotions that they have bottled up on the inside. 

I hope that this blog helps you better understand what it is like to be an Asian person who deals with mental illness. If you fall under this category, please know that you are not alone. Many of us are in the same exact boat as you. I understand the shame you must be feeling as a result of your own mental health struggles, but you do not need to feel shame because what you are experiencing is perfectly normal. I hope that this blog has been an encouragement for you and thank you for taking the time to read this. May the grace of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ richly bless you all!

-David Lee Chu Sarchet 
Christian Mental Health Advocate 

Check out the Christ-Centered Mental Health Ministry Website

3 Approaches To Counseling

When it comes to the relationship between Psychology and Christianity, there are a variety of perspectives about how the two should relate to one another. Some Christians say that the two should never mix, while others say that the two can intermingle with one another. How you view this debate will determine how you proceed in your counseling endeavors. The three different perspectives are Integrationism, Secular, and Biblical. While I hold to the Integrationist approach, I see value in all three perspectives. In this blog, I shall discuss what exactly these approaches are. I will also discuss what some of the Pros and Cons are for each of these approaches. However, I will not tell you which kind of counselor you should see. I believe that I will leave that up to you to decide. Whichever kind of counselor you choose to see, you will benefit from any one of these perspectives. I admit that I do have my own bias concerning this topic, but I will do my best to remain as objective as possible. Also, this blog is not meant to be an exhaustive overview of these three perspectives. I will just briefly describe what these are and give my Pros and Cons for each one. For me to give a more detailed explanation would require me to write an entire book. There have already been works that have covered this topic in depth, so I do not need to do that here. For a more detailed explanation, I recommend a book titled "Psychology & Christianity: Five Views". Now that I have said all this, it is time for me to explain what these approaches are. 

Integrationist Approach 

The Integrationist Approach is a controversial one in this day and age. I say it is controversial because not many Christians approve of this approach. These Christians have accused Integrationists of being heretical, while others say that it is merely unbiblical. As an Integrationist myself, I have found immense value in this approach. Basically, this approach says that Psychology and Christianity can coexist with one another. We affirm that the Bible is the inerrant word of God and that it is sufficient and authoritative in all that it talks about. However, we will say that the Bible does not address everything we need to know concerning life. For example, the Bible will not tell you about molecular biology, car mechanics, or how to treat Schizophrenia. For these subjects, one must go to experts outside of the Bible. This is fine because as I always say "all truth is God's truth". What this means is that any truth that can be gleaned from outside sources is in fact truth that belongs to God, who is the embodiment of Truth. We must not be afraid to look at outside sources to find out what is true. 

Pros

There are a couple  Pros to this approach. For one, this approach allows the therapist to have a better understanding of mental illness because they keep up to date on the latest psychological evidence. It is for this reason that an Integrationist can show more compassion for their counselee. Another pro for this perspective is that the therapist will be more willing to develop a rapport with their client before getting into deep issues such as confronting sin. The reason this is good is because the client needs to feel comfortable with the therapist before they will be willing to acknowledge their secret sins. 

Cons 

While I personally like this approach, I will admit that there are a couple Cons to it. These Cons can be a serious detriment to this approach too. One Con is that some Integrationists elevate Psychology to be on the same level of authority as Scripture. This is bad because only Scripture is authoritative, not Psychology. However, some Integrationists will attempt to "Christianize" Psychology. There is a fine line between accepting that Psychology and Christianity can coexist and trying to talk about Psychology using Christian language. Another Con to this approach is that some Integrationists tend to be affirming of the LGBT community. This is bad because homosexuality is expressly condemned in Scripture. For this reason, we should never affirm what God calls an abomination. 

Secular Approach 

The Secular Approach is basically what it says: Secular. This approach is Psychology without any Christian or religious, influence whatsoever. For this reason, some Christians say that the Secular Approach should never have an influence over a Bible-believing Christian. They will say things like "What does light have in common with darkness" and other platitudes such as this. To their credit, they do have a point here. However, as someone who has personally benefitted from Secular Psychology, I cannot fully agree with them. 

Pros

The Secular Psychology Approach does have some Pros to it. I know this may sound strange to some readers who think there is no use to this approach, but please hear me out. One Pro to this approach is that Secular Psychologists do have a proper understanding of mental illness. For this reason, they do know what helps one better manage their mental health symptoms. When it comes to behavior modification, Secular Psychology can be of great help. This is not to be confused with the idea of Sanctification, which is something that only happens by the work of the Holy Spirit. Another Pro of this approach is that Secular Psychologists will be more compassionate toward someone with mental illness because they have a fuller understanding of their illness. It is for this reason that they can lend a listening ear to someone who struggles with mental illness better than most other counselors. 

Con

While there are a couple Pros to this approach, there are also a couple Cons. For one, secular Psychologists may not be knowledgeable about the Bible and as a result, you will have a difficult time talking about your faith with them. They may be open with you expressing your faith, but they will not understand your faith fully. Another Con is that they will not direct your attention to Jesus Christ, who is our only hope. The reason for this is because they are not your pastor. Their sole purpose is to give you the tools to be able to handle your symptoms appropriately. Another Con to this approach is that they may throw some paganism into your therapeutic session. Things such as Mindfulness exercises, Inner Child Therapy, and other such things should be rejected by Christians. 

Biblical Counseling 

This approach was once called Nouthetic Counseling and it was invented by a man named Jay Adams. The term Nouthetic comes from the Greek word which means "to admonish". This approach is all about locating the secret individual sin in the counselee and confronting it to find healing in the grace of Jesus Christ. Jay Adams was very antagonistic toward Psychology and Psychiatry and during his time he had good reasons for this too. It is important to note here that modern-day Nouthetic counseling has really changed from the time of Jay Adams. These days, the movement is called Biblical Counseling and it is split up between two groups: the ACBC and the CCEF. The ACBC tends to support Psychiatry, but they do not approve of Psychology. Whereas the CCEF approves of both Psychiatry and Psychology. I personally like the CCEF a whole lot better, but that could be my biased speaking. 

Pros 

There are quite a bit of Pros to this approach. For one, Biblical Counselors tend to have a very high view of the authority of Scripture. This is something that I truly admire about this approach. They desire to hold Scripture in high regard when it comes to counseling their clients. Another Pro to this approach is that in some cases it is helpful to address the client's secret individual sin. For example, if a man is getting blackout drunk at the bar and then coming home to beat his wife and children every day, then his sin needs to be confronted in the counseling session. One other Pro to this approach is that Biblical Counselors are not affirming the LGBT agenda. 

Cons 

While there are Pros to this approach, there are quite a few Cons too. One example is there need to ground all mental health issues in some secret individual sin that needs to be confronted. People who deal with various clinical mental illnesses do not always need to confront some individual sin. We need medication and proper therapy. Mental illness is rarely the result of individual sin, even though it is the result of The Fall. When Biblical Counselors confront a mentally ill person's "secret sin", what they are doing is blaming us for our ailment, which perpetuates a harmful stigma against mental illness. Another Con to this approach is it confuses the purpose of Psychology. I have heard it said on numerous occasions that Psychologists are trying to replace the Holy Spirit in the sanctification process. This is a blatant misrepresentation of Psychology. Psychology does not replace the Holy Spirit. The purpose of Psychology is solely to equip the client with tools to know how to better manage their mental health symptoms. Sanctification is, and will always be, a separation issue that is only a work of God. 

As you can see there are good and bad for all three of these approaches and each counselor from these different perspectives could learn a lot from one another. This should not be a point of contention between the three approaches. Whatever type of counselor you decide to see, you will greatly benefit from them. However, you do need to keep in mind that there are good and bad counselors in all three approaches. So, if you are not comfortable with one counselor, do not throw out the baby with the bathwater. Finding the right counselor for you is much like the dating process. You may need to go to quite a few different counselors before you find the right one. I appreciate you taking the time to read my blog and I truly hope that you found this to be a tremendous blessing. May the grace of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ richly bless you all! 

-David Lee Chu Sarchet 
Christian Mental Health Advocate 

Check out the Christ-Centered Mental Health Ministry Website

What Is It Like Living With Separation Anxiety Disorder?

 

Separation Anxiety Disorder (SAD) is a disorder that is more common in young children. The dictionary defines Separation Anxiety as, 

"anxiety provoked in a young child by separation or the threat of separation by their mother" 

While this disorder is more common with young children, it can on rare occasions affect grown adults too. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) outlines eight criteria points for someone to have this disorder. To be diagnosed with this disorder, you must exhibit at least three points. The eight points are the following, 

1) Recurrent excessive distress when anticipating or experiencing separation from home or from major attachment figures

2)Persistent and excessive worry about losing major attachment figures, or about possible harm to them, such as illness, injury, disasters, or death 

3) Persistent and excessive worry about experiencing an untoward event (e.g. getting lost, being kidnapped, having an accident, becoming ill) that causes separation from a major attachment figure

4)Persistent reluctance or refusal to go out, away from home, to school, to work, or elsewhere because of fear of separation

5) Persistent and excessive fear of or reluctance about being alone or without major attachment figures at home or in other settings

6) Persistent reluctance or refusal to sleep away from home, or go to sleep without being near a major attachment figure

7) Repeated nightmares involving the theme of separation 

8) Repeated complaints of physical symptoms (e.g. headaches, stomachaches, nausea, vomiting) when separation from the major attachment figure occurs or is anticipated

As someone who has been diagnosed with SAD, I can personally testify that this is a difficult but real disorder to deal with. Like I said earlier, this disorder is common with children, but it rarely affects adults. When it does affect adults, it is usually because of childhood trauma. In my case, I developed SAD when I was taken away from my mother at the age of thirteen. During that time, I went into a deep depression. In case you are wondering what exactly this disorder looks like in a person's life, well, please keep reading. In this blog, I shall give you an explanation of what this disorder looked like for me. However, I will warn you against taking my personal example and applying it across the board for all people with this disorder. Much like any other mental disorder, SAD affects everyone differently. I will be splitting this blog up into three categories: Beginning Development, Full Blown Dysfunction, and Healing. Afterward, I will end this blog by giving anyone who suffers from this disorder some hope that Scripture has helped me tremendously.  

Beginning Development

As I already stated above, I was taken from my mother at the age of thirteen and I was placed into foster care. My mother and I have always been very close-knit and so when I was taken from her, I became very depressed. I would barely talk to anyone at this time because all I wanted was to be reunited with my mother. My foster brothers would try to converse with me, but I did not really want to talk to them. Finally, my foster mother opened me up by having evening discussions with me in the Living Room. I really enjoyed these discussions with her and I began to look forward to them. This was the first time I began to become attached to a woman who was not my mother. I finally began coming out of my shell as I was becoming more comfortable with being in a foster home.  However, this attachment was short-lived because her biological son became jealous of my interactions with his mother. As a result, I stopped talking to her so much and became deeply depressed yet again. Inevitably, I began isolating again too. 

Full Blown Dysfunction

When I was about sixteen years old, my SAD became even more unbearable. I have always been someone who got along a lot better with females than I did with males. As a result of this, I became attached to a few of the female staff members in the treatment facility that I was in. It was not a romantic attachment at all. It was more like I looked up to these women as mother figures in my life. I even had a female mentor who would visit me once a week to share the word of God with me. I really enjoyed these discussions with her and even began seeing her as a mother figure too. However, some staff began to see the relationship I had with her was inappropriate and so they put an end to our sessions. As a result of this, I began to get very depressed and started cutting myself. I carved my female mentor's name into the side of my right thigh. I was not suicidal, however, I just felt like I was in so much pain that I needed to inflict physical pain on myself to get rid of the emotional pain. 

After I was released from the treatment center at the age of nineteen, I eventually moved out on my own. At this time, I was working at a pizza restaurant and I began talking to this girl, who would eventually become my first girlfriend. I was "head-over-heels" in love with her. I wanted to spend every waking moment with her. When we were apart, I always wanted her on the phone. Needless to say, I was very clingy toward and obsessive with her. She eventually broke things off with me because of my clinginess. I felt broken inside because of this and I became very depressed yet again. All throughout my twenties, I have had many relationships with many different women and even stalked one woman, but they all broke up with me due to clinginess and obsessiveness too. The reason I was like this was because I felt empty when I was not attached to some woman. I was looking to women for my validation. 

Healing 

As I approached my thirties, I became more involved with my faith and started to take it more seriously. I learned from my studies of Scripture that God is forever faithful toward me and His love for me is never-ending. This was good news to me because I now realize that I can find my validation in the Lord instead of in some woman. Another thing that has really helped me is finding my wife, who loves and accepts me for who I am. The other women I dated always made me feel like I had to be someone else to be accepted by them, but this woman (who would later become my wife) always made me feel like I could be myself around her. This was very important to me because for once I felt like I was not being judged for being me. Do I still struggle with Separation Anxiety Disorder? Sometimes, yes. Sometimes I have nightmares that my wife will leave me or betray me. However, the thing that keeps going is the unconditional love of the Lord. I know that no matter what happens, the Lord is my rock. Also, my wife is good at helping me to feel secure in her love too. 

Biblical Hope 

I know that you are probably thinking, "That is nice of you to have overcome your separation anxiety, but what about me? How can I overcome mine?" I am glad that you asked that because I have the answer from Scripture. Hebrews 13:5 tells us, 

"Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, 'I will never leave you nor forsake you'" 

As you can see from this text, the Almighty God promises that He will never leave us nor forsake us! This is an amazing promise to those of us who struggle with attachment issues because we can rest in the fact that our God will never abandon us. People may abandon us or we may lose loved ones, but our God will never leave us or abandon us and we can never lose Him. This is why Jesus can tell us in John 14:18, 

"I will not leave you orphans; I will come to you"

As a former foster kid, this promise has special significance for me. Jesus is telling us that He will not abandon us and as the God of truth, He cannot lie. This means that Jesus Christ will always be there for us no matter what happens in this life and the next. It is for this very reason that Peter tells us in 1 Peter 5:6-7, 

"Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you" 

As you can see, we are to cast all our cares upon Him. Why? Because He cares for us. Some translations translate "care" into "anxieties" and I like that translation better because of my personal experience. This verse is basically saying that any of our anxieties should be expressed to God. This also means that anxiety is not sinful, as some Christians seem to believe. We are allowed to feel anxious, but our anxiety should be taken to the Lord. And when we take all of our anxieties to Him, He will give us perfect peace that transcends all understanding (Philippians 4:7). 

I would like to thank you for taking the time to read my blog and I hope that this gives you a better picture of what Separation Anxiety Disorder looks like. This is a serious mental illness that should never be trivialized because people who suffer from it are dealing with a lot of inner turmoil. I hope that if you are someone who deals with this disorder you are greatly edified in your faith. Always remember to keep your eyes on Jesus Christ as the anchor of your faith and He will give you perfect peace. May the grace of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ richly bless you all! 

-David Lee Chu Sarchet
Christian Mental Health Advocate 

Check out the Christ-Centered Mental Health Ministry Website

Simply Amy: Life of a Woman With Separation Anxiety Disorder-This is a fictional book about a woman who suffers from SAD. Some content in the book may be triggering because it is a first-person account of what it looks like for someone dealing with this disorder. If you are not easily triggered, I highly recommend that you read this because you will be greatly edified in your faith. 

Top Ways People With Mental Illness Are Abused

It is a well-known fact that people with mental illnesses have a tendency to be more susceptible to all manner of abuses. Some of this abuse can be physical, but most of the time it is emotional/verbal. Abuse in whatever form it takes should be taken very seriously because it can cause our mental health symptoms to worsen. Abuse is not something that is solely the world's responsibility, however, because even the Church has been responsible for some of these abuses too. In what ways do these abuses look like? In this blog, I shall discuss some of the ways mentally ill people are abused. The purpose of this blog is to cause the reader to understand how they may have intentionally or unintentionally contributed to abusing those people with mental illness in their lives. After you finish reading this blog, I hope the Holy Spirit will convict your heart by showing you how you may have been abused and then lead you to genuine repentance. This blog is not meant to denigrate anyone in the Church, but instead, I intend to highlight some classic examples of abuse so that people will be more careful in what they say to those people with mental illness. I would like to say that this list is not comprehensive because if I would list all of the different ways mentally ill people are abused then that would require an entire book (which sometime I may write, Lord willing). For the sake of this blog, I will only focus on a few of the ways people with mental illness are abused. If you can think of any more ways, then please feel free to let me know. I will now get into some of these ways we tend to get abused. 

Manipulation 

People with different mental illnesses tend to be too trusting of other people. This is not necessarily a bad thing because it does allow us to gain close relationships with others. In that sense, it is a blessing. However, since we are so trusting of others, it has caused us to be easily manipulated by people who mean us harm. I personally dealt with a woman for about ten years who would do nothing but manipulate me. She definitely did mean me harm, but I could not see it at the time. People with mental illnesses have a tendency to not be able to see when someone in our lives are not good for us because we intuitively want to see the good in people and give people the benefit of the doubt. 

Gaslighting 

Gaslighting is a form of manipulation where the one who is gaslighting knows that they are in the wrong but they will throw accusations at their victim in an attempt to cause them to second guess themselves. It is usually done as a way to control the person. People with mental illnesses are much more susceptible to being gaslighted because we always second-guess ourselves anyway. When I was dealing with the person who was manipulative in my life, she would always gaslight me because she knew I already felt guilty for something I should not have felt guilt over. She used my guilty feelings as a way to maintain control over me. 

Telling Us To "Cast Out The Demon" 

One of the most common means of abuse toward someone with mental illness is telling us to exorcise our demons. The reason why I say this is because it perpetuates the stigma against mental illness by making people think that there is something sinister wrong with us. As a result of this, it alienates us from fellowshipping with other believers. When we are isolated, we tend to spiral even more out of control. It is not good or wise for anyone with a mental illness to be isolated. Mental illness is not a demon and the evidence of this is the fact that Christians can have legitimate mental illnesses and that medication is so effective in treating mental illnesses. We know that Christians cannot be demon-possessed and how could a physical pill affect a spiritual entity? 

Telling Us Our Mental Illness Is Caused By Individual Sin

This is another very commonly used method that people use to abuse those of us with mental illness. By telling us that our mental illness is caused by our own individual sin, you are blaming us for our brain disease. This is dangerous because we already feel guilty about our illnesses and so this accusation has the power to cause us to fall deeper into our guilt and thus make us very depressed. The truth is, our mental illness is not the result of our individual sin. Mental illnesses are the result of chemicals in our brain being out of whack and we need medication to restore the chemicals in our brains. We do not need people to tell us that we are to blame for the chemical imbalances in our minds. 

Telling Us To "Pray More" 

This one is not quite so common, but every now and then I still hear some well-meaning people tell someone with mental illness this. While I do believe that there is power when a Christian prays to the Lord, however, prayer is not going to cause my voices to go away or cause my mania to slow down. Prayer may help me to focus on the Lord in these moments, but I still need my medication and therapy to be more mentally stable. There is absolutely no shame in this because mental illness is a medical issue just like diabetes. One would never tell a diabetic to stop taking insulin and just pray more, so why tell someone with mental illness to stop seeking treatment and replace their treatment with more prayer? 

Telling Us That We Are Just Lazy 

When I was younger, I must have heard this many times in my life. People automatically assume that if they cannot physically see your disability, then you must not be disabled. In reality, mental illness is very much a disabling condition, even if you cannot see our disability with your own eyes. Most people with mental illnesses would love to work, but we cannot work because of our illnesses preventing us. How can someone prone to frequent panic attacks possibly be able to hold down a traditional 9-5 job? How can someone prone to hallucinations and delusions hold down a traditional job? How can you expect someone who cannot even get out of bed due to severe depression to go to work? These are just some examples of how mental illnesses prevent us from working. I can go on all day mentioning different disorders that prevent us from working, but I think you get the point. 

I would like to thank you for being willing to read my blog and I hope that this helps you be aware of any ways that you may have abused someone with mental illness. If you have, whether intentionally or unintentionally, I beg you to repent of it today and in the future be aware of how to talk to someone with mental illness. The way that you treat us can make all the difference in whether or not we can become triggered into having an episode and landing back in the psychiatric hospital, in prison, or in death. I hope you will take what I am saying in this blog to heart. May the grace of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ richly bless you all! 

-David Lee Chu Sarchet 
Christian Mental Health Advocate 

Check out the Christ-Centered Mental Health Ministry Website

Being Homeless While Mentally Ill

 

According to SAMHSA, about 30% of the homeless population have a chronic mental illness. This means that roughly 3 out of 10 homeless people potentially have a chronic mental illness. Unfortunately, there are not many programs to help these people. Chances are pretty high that you have seen some of these mentally ill homeless people wandering the streets in your area. You may be scared to come close to them, so you keep your distance, right? My heart breaks for them because I know that these people literally have no one who cares for them in their lives. As some of you may already know, I have been homeless many times in my life since I was 19 years old. It is because of this fact that I have pretty thick skin. Once you have been homeless as many times as I have, nothing else really bothers you. You may be wondering what my experience was like being homeless while experiencing a mental illness, right? You also may be wondering why I have been homeless so many times too. In this blog, I shall discuss some of my homeless experiences, but then I will close the blog by giving some thoughtful advice for anyone who may or will be in the same predicament. I will say that not all of my experiences have been bad. As a matter of fact, some of the godliest people I have ever met have been in homeless shelters. I really enjoyed talking with these people and doing Bible studies with them too. However, I would never trade my life now for an experience in a homeless shelter. But, I digress. While I have been homeless many times in my life, I will only focus on three shelters that I have been in and one instance where I had to sleep outside. The reason why I am choosing to do this is because if I write about all of my experience it would fill an entire book instead of a blog. I would like to say that if you are in a homeless shelter while dealing with mental illness currently, it is not the end of the world. You will get through this like I have. And the Lord will use this experience for your good (Romans 8:28). Anyways, now it is time for me to discuss my experiences. 

The Place 

The very first homeless shelter I've been in was called The Place and it is a shelter for teens in Colorado Springs, Colorado. I was 19 years old. This was shortly after my conversion to the faith, so I was pretty immature. What caused me to become homeless was that I was evicted from my apartment in Canon City, Colorado due to lack of payment on my rent. Since I was still technically considered a "ward of the state", my judge determined that I should return to Colorado Springs and be put in this homeless shelter until I could have a hearing where they would declare me a free adult. Upon arrival at The Place, I was literally terrified because I did not know what to expect. I thought that I would be around a lot of thugs and criminals who were dangerous and that my life would be in danger. As a result of this, I decided to constantly be watching my back in case anyone tried anything. However, it turned out that I was completely wrong. The shelter ended up not being so bad after all. Sure, we all had to sleep in one large room and we all shared bunk beds too. Also, during the daytime, we had to leave and be back by 5 p.m. for dinner. I remember meeting some decent people in there who started calling me Asian Dave because there was another David in the shelter. There were video games for us to play in the evening time as well as movies. Also, the food that was served there was pretty good as well. Needless to say, my stay in this shelter was not so bad. I remember there was only one altercation I sort of got into with someone. We did not fight, but I remember he used to always pick on me because he could tell I was mentally ill even though I never told him. One day in the middle of our morning group, he was talking mess to me and I began to feel very overwhelmed with emotion. As a result, I began yelling and screaming at him at the top of my lungs and then I broke down crying in front of everyone. He realized he messed up and apologized to me saying he was only kidding. He never talked trash to me again after that. I did miss the people I met in Canon City, especially the girl was dating at the time. So, as soon as my judge declared me a free adult, I found my way back to the small prison town. 

Loaves N' Fishes 

The second homeless shelter I was in was called Loaves N' Fishes in Canon City, Colorado. This shelter was significantly smaller than most shelters but that was because Canon City is a small town. I was 21 years old at this time. I remember when I first came to this shelter, I was not scared this time because I already sort of knew what to expect. I knew it would be a little different than The Place because it was not for teenagers. However, it did share some similarities. For example, we still had to leave during the day and return by 5 p.m. for dinner. The food there was also pretty good and I got along with everyone for the most part, except for one older gentleman. He used to talk trash to me every day, but I would not allow him to get me down. However, there was one night when I was trying to sleep, but I couldn't because I kept hearing him in a coughing spasm. Immediately, I remembered how the Bible tells us to give a drink of water to our enemy when he is thirsty (Romans 12:20). So, I decided to get up to bring him a cup of water. I admit that my motives were entirely selfish because I just wanted him to be quiet so that I could sleep. However, the next morning he told everyone how I saved his life, and from then on he was a whole lot nicer to me. I did end up getting a job while I was in this shelter as the sign waver for Little Caesars. This job was perfect for me because it allowed me to make up my own schedule. Unfortunately, I did not come in very often because I had an intense fear that certain people in the shelter would talk about me behind my back. As a result, I chose to hang out with them so that if they did talk about me I would know it what they were saying. I know that this sounds completely irrational, but it is how I thought back then. 

Living On The Streets 

This next incident was probably the worst time in my life. I say this because I was actually homeless on the streets. The reason why I was homeless this time was because I got a "job" working for Scentura Creations, a cologne and perfume company. Basically, what they had me do was walk around Colorado Springs peddling cheap bottles of cologne and perfume to random people. I understand now that I was being scammed, but at the time I believed that it was a decent job. I met some great people whom I was working with too. Needless to say, I could not pay my rent and so I ended up being evicted yet again. This time I did not want to go to the shelter because I felt like I could not do my work while being in the shelter. As a result of this, I spend my days in the street just trying to sell my bottles. What softened the harshness of this time was the fact that one of my coworkers got kicked out of his father's home for similar reasons so we decided to hang out with one another. This made my homelessness feel like it was not so bad. We would sell bottles together and then at night we would squat inside an empty apartment beneath his girlfriend's apartment. However, I did not like this arrangement at all, so I decided to look for another place for us to crash. I ended up finding a used car lot where all the cars were unlocked. As a result, I ended up sleeping in one of these cars each night and then I would leave early in the morning. Thankfully, I was never caught. 

RJ Montgomery-- Salvation Army 

This was my final stay inside a homeless shelter. The reason I ended up homeless this time was because I found out my mother was homeless in Barstow, California. So, I decided to give up the rooming house I was in to go search for her and bring her back to Colorado. As the Lord would have it, I found her within two hours of arriving in Barstow via Greyhound. Then, I got us both tickets back to Colorado. However, we did not have any place to live, so after using up our welcome in certain friend's places, we decided to go to the shelter. This shelter was not so bad either. It was a lot larger than the first two shelters I previously discussed. And it was a little bit more dangerous, but I was not scared though. I never felt like my life was threatened. I remember the caseworker gave me and my mom permission to remain in the shelter during the day since my mother had bad feet. This was a nice setup because for once I did not have to leave during the day. Unfortunately, I also remember how many of the residents in the shelter would take advantage of my inability to say no by constantly asking me for cigarettes. As a result, I would run out of cigarettes quite frequently. This was also the time when the Secret Service came to visit me because of a video I put out threatening President Trump. I remember this day like it was yesterday because of how scared I was. I was more afraid that if they took me away then my mom would be alone in the streets of Colorado Springs. Fortunately, the Secret Service members just told me to make sure I remained on my medication because if they had to see me again, they would come with handcuffs. After they left, I was able to breathe a sigh of relief. 

As you can see from my experience, my life has been like a roller coaster because of my mental illness. My experiences are not unique to me, however. Many people like me can say they have had similar experiences. This is why for this next section I would like to give some words of encouragement and advice to anyone who has been or will be in my shoes.

You Are Not Alone 

I say this because when I was first homeless, I felt like I was completely alone in my predicament. This is a lie from satan. No matter how long you have been or will be homeless, you are not alone. There are plenty of people who will experience homelessness or who have experienced homelessness. I recommend that you find a mental health support group in your area so that you will not feel like you are by yourself. Support groups are vital for those of us who experience mental illness because we can see that other people truly understand our predicament. 

Find A Mental Health Clinic 

If you are not already enrolled in a mental health clinic, I recommend that you get enrolled in one immediately. Mental health clinics are useful because they will set you up with a psychiatrist who will make sure you can get your medication. These clinics will also set you up with a case manager. too. The case manager can and will help you with things such as getting on Social Security, food stamps, TANF, and other necessary programs. They can also take you to food pantries too. Also, if you need it they can find you a mental health group home to move into.  Trust me when I say this, mental health clinics can be a literal lifesaver when you are homeless. 

Hold Onto Your Hope In Christ 

I understand that when you are in this predicament it can be easy to lose faith in God. I felt like this many times myself. It feels like God does not care about you nor can He do anything about your situation. However, the Sovereign Lord sees all and He does care. As I stated earlier, Romans 8:28 promises us that He is working out all things for our good. This means that your homelessness is not without a purpose. He is in complete control over every single molecule in creation. You can trust The Lord in your predicament. As Proverbs 3:5-6 tells us, 

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and he shall direct your paths" 

No matter what you are experiencing, God is good and God is faithful to His people. We can trust Him completely to turn something ugly into something extraordinarily beautiful. 

I would like to thank you very much for taking the time to read my blog and I hope you found this edifying to you. I am fully aware that being homeless while being mentally ill is tough, but God is good. Keep this in mind and close to your heart always. May the grace of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ richly bless you all! 

-David Lee Chu Sarchet
Christian Mental Health Advocate 

Check out the Christ-Centered Mental Health Ministry Website

When You Miss Your Mania...

 

For many of us with Bipolar disorder, we tend to experience symptoms of mania. What exactly is mania, you ask? The dictionary defines mania as, 

"mental illness marked by periods of great excitement or euphoria, delusions, and overactivity" 

It is widespread for those of us who experience mania to experience a lot of delusional thinking, such as when I believed that it was prophesied for me to harm the president. We also may experience "high-risk behaviors", such as overspending and/or having multiple sex partners. We may even engage in obsessive gambling too. I know that all of this may sound really bad, right? It is for these reasons that one probably would wonder why someone would miss their mania. Well, despite these negative symptoms of mania, there are some positives about mania. You ask me, "Wait, what do you mean by 'positives about mania'?" I know that it sounds hard to comprehend but it is true. There are, in fact, some positive things about mania. It is precisely for this reason that many of us who remain on medication tend to miss our manic symptoms and are tempted to go off of our medication so we can experience mania again. It is a vicious cycle of experiencing mania, then depression, being medicated, going off medication, and then repeating mania all over again. This cycle is actually really common for those of us with Bipolar disorder. I know that I have gone through this cycle many times and so have many other people. In this blog, I shall discuss some reasons why we tend to miss our mania and then I will discuss some reminders that will help you when you are missing your mania. I would like to say that if you are missing your mania, do not feel like you are weird or anything. It is perfectly normal for you to feel like this. Mania is an amazing experience for those of who deal with it. However, it does come with many complications, which I will get to shortly. In my experience, I have found three different reasons why we tend to miss our mania symptoms. This list is not meant to be exhaustive, as there are many other reasons why someone would miss their mania. These are just the main reasons I choose to focus on for the sake of this blog. If you can think of more, please let me know. 

Productivity

When people experience mania, they tend to be highly productive. Actually, it is for this reason that so many of us make such great workers when we are manic. I remember in my younger years when I was not medicated, I would require very little sleep to function (sometimes no sleep at all). This enabled me to work a full graveyard shift while also attending college. It was because of my mania that I was able to accomplish more and never feel tired. It was almost like I was on a constant buzz from Monster Energy Drinks, but I never drink those. These days when I am manic, it makes me able to easily write multiple blogs and make multiple YouTube videos in a short period because my mind is flooded with new ideas.

More Creativity 

When people experience flights of mania, we tend to be the most creative. This is why some of those artistic people in history have been people with mental illnesses. For more on that topic, please read my blog on Mental Illness & The Artistic Mind. I am not sure why this is, but whenever I am manic, my mind can become highly creative and even artistic. This is why I was able to easily write my Simply book/blog series without even planning them out. The ideas just flowed freely from my mind into my work. Many people with Bipolar disorder can do similar things when they are manic such as writing beautiful poetry, painting beautiful artwork, making amazing music, etc. When we are manic, artistic ability just comes naturally to us. 

More Lively 

For those of us who experience mania, we tend to become more full of energy, which in turn causes us to feel more alive. I know that when I am experiencing a manic episode, I actually feel exuberant. I feel like I can run a hundred miles without feeling tired and I tend to talk extremely fast because my thinking is hopping from one thought to another. Those of us who experience mania tend to become the life of the party. This is the biggest reason why when we are medicated at first we hate it because stability causes us to feel dead inside. 

As you can see, there are plenty of reasons why we miss our mania when we are in recovery. Now, the question you are probably wondering is what can we do when we are missing our mania, right? Well, I have found three things that help me when I begin missing my mania and get tempted to stop taking my medication. I will dispense my advice and if you remember these three things, then I am sure that they will help you to realize that being stable is much more important than living with mania. 

Remembering What Mania Causes 

What I mean by this is that when we remind ourselves of the havoc mania causes in our lives, it should cause us to regret ever going off of our medication. For example, when I remember how I made a YouTube video where I basically threatened the President and the Secret Service paid me a visit, I then remembered that I needed to stay on my medication. I am not saying that we should live in the past, but when we think of the trouble that mania causes, it should cause us to realize how better off we are being stable. 

Remembering How Mania Affects Loved Ones 

This one should be fairly easy for anyone who cares about how their actions affect their loved ones. I know in my life my mania has affected not only myself, but also my wife, sisters, and close friends. It would be unloving of me to say I do not care enough about them to remain stable. I know all too well how my mania has almost destroyed my relationships completely and I do not want to risk that ever again. Anyone who has any loved ones in their life should seriously consider this before deciding to go off of their medication. 

Remembering It Is Because Of Medication That You Are Doing Well 

This tip is a good one to remember because so many of us have a tendency to think that once we go a long time being stable we are now "healed" and no longer need medication. Mental illness is not a curable disease like Herpes. People with Bipolar will have it for the rest of their lives or until Jesus returns. If we think we can go off of our medication, then our symptoms will inevitably return and could be worse than before because Bipolar is degenerative. This is why we need to remember that the reason why we are doing so well in our recovery is because of the medication we are currently taking. I know that sometimes we may feel shame for having to depend on medication, but there is really no shame about it. Some people need to depend on insulin for their well-being because they have diabetes. In the same way, we need psychiatric medication because of our broken minds. 

I would like to thank you for taking the time to read my blog and I sincerely hope that it helps you when you begin to miss your mania episodes. I understand that mania feels really good because our mood is elevated, but it is not worth the consequences. I hope that next time you begin missing your mania, you will think about this blog. May the grace of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ richly bless you all! 

-David Lee Chu Sarchet 
Christian Mental Health Advocate 

Check out the Christ-Centered Mental Health Ministry Website