***The following is a fictional account of a teenager who has Bipolar Disorder and Conduct Disorder. Some content may be triggering. Reader discretion advised***
Today is Wednesday morning and the day is already starting off horribly. This place has a point system just like the mental hospital did. However, the maximum amount of points you can earn in one day is 250 and that is a really good day. The more points you earn in a week, the higher you progress in the levels. Each level also has different privileges, but this time there are five levels instead of three. Apparently, every Friday we can use our points to purchase items from the "Point Store" but I am not sure what that is about yet. So, what is so wrong about this system? Well, last night while we were all sleeping, the staff member on duty went around to each of our chore areas and messed everything up. For instance, in the bathroom, he marked the toilets with permanent marker and in the hallway, he emptied the staff hole puncher all over the floor. I understand his intention is to make sure we actually do our chores. However, when we wake up first thing in the morning, the last thing we are thinking about is cleaning. So, he wakes us up at 6:30 in the morning and tells us to do our chores. That's fine, but then when we come to tell him we are finished, he goes to check our chores. If he finds the markings he made, he asks us again if we did our chores. If we say "yes", then he says he is taking 150 points off of our day. This means half our day is ruined. Anyways, that just happened to me this morning, and now I am fuming angry. I feel as if I should just mess around and forget about the rules since now half of my day has been taken from me. However, I know that that wouldn't be beneficial, so I decide to just "suck it up" and be good.
We line up in front of the door and count off our numbers and line expectations. Then, we begin our transition to the cafeteria for Breakfast. I hope we actually have something good, unlike the previous mornings. I could really go for some good food right about now. We arrive in the cafeteria and right away get in line to receive our food. To my disappointment, the food is not good. We have instant scrambled eggs, instant plain oatmeal, hard bacon, and a granola bar. The only thing appealing about this meal is the granola bar, so that is the only thing I eat. David sees me and asks me for my oatmeal. I readily give it to him because the sight of it is making me nauseous.
After Breakfast, we line again and count off with line expectations, and then head to the Medical building. By now, all of this is so monotonous that I could practically do this in my sleep. As soon as we get into the Medical building, we all take our seats and wait for the kids who take medication to get called up one by one. Travis takes this opportunity to talk to me and I really wish he did not. I just want to be left alone.
"I hear you put the whoopin' on Enrique' the other day," He says with a smile. I do not say anything because I do not feel like this is something to brag about. Believe it or not, I honestly do not like to fight. I much rather people leave me alone and let me do me. After a moment of silence, Travis speaks up again.
"That's pretty cool, man. That douche needed a serious butt-kicking," He says rather joyfully. I wonder what Enrique' ever did to him for him to feel this way. I decided to ask him that and he told me a story about when he was new here Enrique' began bullying him for no reason.
"I think he might be racist against white people," He says in a rather quiet tone and I understand why. Enrique' is not too far from us. I wouldn't be surprised if he heard us talking about him, but I do not care. If he tries anything with me, I'll beat him up again. Needless to say, Enrique' does not dare say anything to me. After all of the kids get their medication, we stand in line once more, count off our numbers, and say our line expectations. Then, we make our way over to the School building.
The classes are split up by age group. This means that I am in class with other sixteen and seventeen-year-olds. Everyone seems to be decent here. There is not any drama in my classes. First, we have an English class with a woman named Mrs. White. She is a funny, obese white woman. I think she is great. Next, we have Social Studies with Mr. Jesse, and he seems very uptight for no apparent reason. I honestly couldn't care less for the dude. After that class, we have Science class, and the teacher there is named Mr. Green, and he seems like an alright guy. He loves to show us Myth Busters episodes for some reason. Finally, there is Math class with Mrs. Thompson. This class is my favorite because I love Math. She is actually quite surprised at how much I excel at this subject. After School is over, we line up once more, count off our numbers and line expectations, and then transition back to the unit.
Once we are back in the unit, we have to sit in the Day Room for a therapy group with Mr. Tony. This time the subject is Thinking Errors. I am not entirely sure what that means, so this topic does pique my interest. Mr. Tony begins by telling us about Emotional Reasoning, which means we let our emotions dictate how we feel and do. Then, he mentions "all or nothing thinking", which is when we think something is always this extreme thing or that extreme thing, but there is no in-between. He mentions other "Thinking Errors", but I tune him out because I quickly lose interest. It all seems like psychobabble to me anyway. He, then, passed out papers concerning this topic. He says he wants us to work on these worksheets by tomorrow's group. Great, we have homework to do. Perfect.
After the group ends, we have to get in line once more, count off our numbers and line expectations, and then transition back to the cafeteria for Dinner. Again, I hope we have something good because I am literally starving. Once we get into the cafeteria and are in line to receive the food, I see that we have cheeseburgers, chocolate pudding, a banana, and chocolate milk. It seems that the gods have finally smiled upon me and gave me what I wanted. As I am taking my food, one of the girls from the girl's unit, who is helping the cafeteria staff today, hands me a note. I secretly take it and place it safely in my pocket. I look forward to reading later tonight.
As I am sitting down and eating my dinner, Travis sits with me and begins talking to me. I really hate this because I do not feel like he is my friend now just because I beat up his bully. I actually do not want anything to do with this loser.
"Do you play any sports?" He asks me and I wonder why, "You look like you play Football". I nod my head while I am chewing on my cheeseburger. He smiles and tells me he loves Football but he has always been too small to play. How pathetic. But, then again, I know that not everyone is equipped to play sports.
"You got to be good at something, though, right?" I respond to him nicely, but really I just want to be left alone. He nods his head as his face lights up with joy. He then tells me that he is good at making origami. Great, how did I end up making friends with this loser? Is my luck really this bad? I tell him that is great as I stand up to go put my empty tray in the dishes section. After dinner time is over, we line up yet again, count off with line expectations, and then head back to the Medical building. This time as we were waiting for the kids to take their medication, I decided to read the letter that the girl gave me. I pull it out and slowly unfold it. It says the following,
"My name is Jessica Hartley and I think you are cute. What is your name? We should sneak off some time. I think I could give you a good time. ;)"
I like the sound of that a lot. I quickly fold the note up before the staff sees me and I place it back in my pocket. After the kids take their medication, we get back in line, count off our numbers and line expectations, and head back to the unit. Once we are back in the unit, the staff tells us we have free time until Light's Out, which means we have to be in bed. I decided that I would like to call Kat. So, I request to go into the staff office to make a phone call. The staff says I can, but I only have ten minutes. I am fine with that actually. As soon as I dial her number, she answers right away.
"Baby, I miss you," She says excitedly. I ask her when she is going to come visit me. She says she is planning on driving out here this weekend. I am pleased by that.
"I miss you too," I say to her and I actually mean it. The longer I remain in facilities like this, the more I learn how much I appreciate my girlfriend. I am even thinking of Amanda less and less every day. Amanda was only good for the time being, but Kat truly is a keeper. I do not know what I'd do without her in my life. We exchange small talk about how our week's been. I tell her how I have already gotten into a fight and she begins to chew me out but then stops when I tell her I was just defending myself. After the ten minutes is up, a staff member tells me to wrap it up, so we exchange our goodbyes and "I love yous" and then hang up.
When I walk out of the staff office, they announce that it is time for Bible study. The staff member says it is not mandatory though. I decided that I'd like to go. I know I am not a Christian, but I thoroughly enjoyed the Bible study in Spring Creek. It is for that reason alone that chose to go to this Bible study. There were only four of us who chose to go to the Bible study. We line up and count off our numbers and expectations, and then we transition to the Main building where the Bible study is being held. Once we arrive there, we see a tall Black man in jean shorts and a polo shirt sitting at the end of the table. He stands up and greets us all individually with a warm, but booming voice. He tells us that his name is Mr. Skyler. He seems like a genuinely nice man. We all take our seats and he says he wants to talk to us about Romans 8:28. We turn our Bibles to that Scripture and I ask someone to help me because I still do not know where that is. Once I am there, I am struck by what it says,
"... And we know that all things work together for the good of those who love God, who are called according to his purpose"
I find this remarkable because it is implying that everything that has happened thus far in my life is working for my good. I know I do not yet "love" God because I am not even sure He exists. However, if I were to love this deity, how could He possibly have the power to work everything I go through for my good. Skyler keeps talking about this verse and he even tells us about a man named Joseph who was in prison, but I tuned him out forever ago. I just keep thinking about this so-called "god" who has the power to control events in my life. It all seems too good to be true and as my father always says, "If it sounds too good to be true, it most likely is". After the Bible study is over, I shake Skyler's hand and thank him for his time.
"It is my pleasure," He replies to me with a smile and then asks for my name. I tell him my name and he asks me something profound.
"What can I be in prayer for you about, Eric?" He seems so genuine and for a moment I feel like the wind has been knocked out of my sails. I tell him I do not need prayer because prayer is for the weak. He tells me he will be in prayer for me regardless.
"Always remember," He begins, "When we are weak, then we are strong in Christ". He leaves me with that and all it does is confuse the heck out of me. Why is he talking like Yoda from Star Wars? This man is odd to be sure, but there is something about him that I can appreciate. The four of us line up once more, count off our numbers and expectations, and begin transitioning back to the unit.
Once I am back in the unit, I head straight to my room. I pull out a piece of paper and try to write that girl a letter in response, but all I can think about is what Mr. Skyler told me. What did he mean by "When we are weak, then we are strong in Christ"? I decided to write my note later on. I do my regular set of push-ups and then I lay down in bed and fall fast asleep. I hope tomorrow is a better day.
***Stay Tuned For Part 10***
-David Lee Chu Sarchet
Christian Mental Health Advocate
Check out the Christ-Centered Mental Health Ministry Website
We line up in front of the door and count off our numbers and line expectations. Then, we begin our transition to the cafeteria for Breakfast. I hope we actually have something good, unlike the previous mornings. I could really go for some good food right about now. We arrive in the cafeteria and right away get in line to receive our food. To my disappointment, the food is not good. We have instant scrambled eggs, instant plain oatmeal, hard bacon, and a granola bar. The only thing appealing about this meal is the granola bar, so that is the only thing I eat. David sees me and asks me for my oatmeal. I readily give it to him because the sight of it is making me nauseous.
After Breakfast, we line again and count off with line expectations, and then head to the Medical building. By now, all of this is so monotonous that I could practically do this in my sleep. As soon as we get into the Medical building, we all take our seats and wait for the kids who take medication to get called up one by one. Travis takes this opportunity to talk to me and I really wish he did not. I just want to be left alone.
"I hear you put the whoopin' on Enrique' the other day," He says with a smile. I do not say anything because I do not feel like this is something to brag about. Believe it or not, I honestly do not like to fight. I much rather people leave me alone and let me do me. After a moment of silence, Travis speaks up again.
"That's pretty cool, man. That douche needed a serious butt-kicking," He says rather joyfully. I wonder what Enrique' ever did to him for him to feel this way. I decided to ask him that and he told me a story about when he was new here Enrique' began bullying him for no reason.
"I think he might be racist against white people," He says in a rather quiet tone and I understand why. Enrique' is not too far from us. I wouldn't be surprised if he heard us talking about him, but I do not care. If he tries anything with me, I'll beat him up again. Needless to say, Enrique' does not dare say anything to me. After all of the kids get their medication, we stand in line once more, count off our numbers, and say our line expectations. Then, we make our way over to the School building.
The classes are split up by age group. This means that I am in class with other sixteen and seventeen-year-olds. Everyone seems to be decent here. There is not any drama in my classes. First, we have an English class with a woman named Mrs. White. She is a funny, obese white woman. I think she is great. Next, we have Social Studies with Mr. Jesse, and he seems very uptight for no apparent reason. I honestly couldn't care less for the dude. After that class, we have Science class, and the teacher there is named Mr. Green, and he seems like an alright guy. He loves to show us Myth Busters episodes for some reason. Finally, there is Math class with Mrs. Thompson. This class is my favorite because I love Math. She is actually quite surprised at how much I excel at this subject. After School is over, we line up once more, count off our numbers and line expectations, and then transition back to the unit.
Once we are back in the unit, we have to sit in the Day Room for a therapy group with Mr. Tony. This time the subject is Thinking Errors. I am not entirely sure what that means, so this topic does pique my interest. Mr. Tony begins by telling us about Emotional Reasoning, which means we let our emotions dictate how we feel and do. Then, he mentions "all or nothing thinking", which is when we think something is always this extreme thing or that extreme thing, but there is no in-between. He mentions other "Thinking Errors", but I tune him out because I quickly lose interest. It all seems like psychobabble to me anyway. He, then, passed out papers concerning this topic. He says he wants us to work on these worksheets by tomorrow's group. Great, we have homework to do. Perfect.
After the group ends, we have to get in line once more, count off our numbers and line expectations, and then transition back to the cafeteria for Dinner. Again, I hope we have something good because I am literally starving. Once we get into the cafeteria and are in line to receive the food, I see that we have cheeseburgers, chocolate pudding, a banana, and chocolate milk. It seems that the gods have finally smiled upon me and gave me what I wanted. As I am taking my food, one of the girls from the girl's unit, who is helping the cafeteria staff today, hands me a note. I secretly take it and place it safely in my pocket. I look forward to reading later tonight.
As I am sitting down and eating my dinner, Travis sits with me and begins talking to me. I really hate this because I do not feel like he is my friend now just because I beat up his bully. I actually do not want anything to do with this loser.
"Do you play any sports?" He asks me and I wonder why, "You look like you play Football". I nod my head while I am chewing on my cheeseburger. He smiles and tells me he loves Football but he has always been too small to play. How pathetic. But, then again, I know that not everyone is equipped to play sports.
"You got to be good at something, though, right?" I respond to him nicely, but really I just want to be left alone. He nods his head as his face lights up with joy. He then tells me that he is good at making origami. Great, how did I end up making friends with this loser? Is my luck really this bad? I tell him that is great as I stand up to go put my empty tray in the dishes section. After dinner time is over, we line up yet again, count off with line expectations, and then head back to the Medical building. This time as we were waiting for the kids to take their medication, I decided to read the letter that the girl gave me. I pull it out and slowly unfold it. It says the following,
"My name is Jessica Hartley and I think you are cute. What is your name? We should sneak off some time. I think I could give you a good time. ;)"
I like the sound of that a lot. I quickly fold the note up before the staff sees me and I place it back in my pocket. After the kids take their medication, we get back in line, count off our numbers and line expectations, and head back to the unit. Once we are back in the unit, the staff tells us we have free time until Light's Out, which means we have to be in bed. I decided that I would like to call Kat. So, I request to go into the staff office to make a phone call. The staff says I can, but I only have ten minutes. I am fine with that actually. As soon as I dial her number, she answers right away.
"Baby, I miss you," She says excitedly. I ask her when she is going to come visit me. She says she is planning on driving out here this weekend. I am pleased by that.
"I miss you too," I say to her and I actually mean it. The longer I remain in facilities like this, the more I learn how much I appreciate my girlfriend. I am even thinking of Amanda less and less every day. Amanda was only good for the time being, but Kat truly is a keeper. I do not know what I'd do without her in my life. We exchange small talk about how our week's been. I tell her how I have already gotten into a fight and she begins to chew me out but then stops when I tell her I was just defending myself. After the ten minutes is up, a staff member tells me to wrap it up, so we exchange our goodbyes and "I love yous" and then hang up.
When I walk out of the staff office, they announce that it is time for Bible study. The staff member says it is not mandatory though. I decided that I'd like to go. I know I am not a Christian, but I thoroughly enjoyed the Bible study in Spring Creek. It is for that reason alone that chose to go to this Bible study. There were only four of us who chose to go to the Bible study. We line up and count off our numbers and expectations, and then we transition to the Main building where the Bible study is being held. Once we arrive there, we see a tall Black man in jean shorts and a polo shirt sitting at the end of the table. He stands up and greets us all individually with a warm, but booming voice. He tells us that his name is Mr. Skyler. He seems like a genuinely nice man. We all take our seats and he says he wants to talk to us about Romans 8:28. We turn our Bibles to that Scripture and I ask someone to help me because I still do not know where that is. Once I am there, I am struck by what it says,
"... And we know that all things work together for the good of those who love God, who are called according to his purpose"
I find this remarkable because it is implying that everything that has happened thus far in my life is working for my good. I know I do not yet "love" God because I am not even sure He exists. However, if I were to love this deity, how could He possibly have the power to work everything I go through for my good. Skyler keeps talking about this verse and he even tells us about a man named Joseph who was in prison, but I tuned him out forever ago. I just keep thinking about this so-called "god" who has the power to control events in my life. It all seems too good to be true and as my father always says, "If it sounds too good to be true, it most likely is". After the Bible study is over, I shake Skyler's hand and thank him for his time.
"It is my pleasure," He replies to me with a smile and then asks for my name. I tell him my name and he asks me something profound.
"What can I be in prayer for you about, Eric?" He seems so genuine and for a moment I feel like the wind has been knocked out of my sails. I tell him I do not need prayer because prayer is for the weak. He tells me he will be in prayer for me regardless.
"Always remember," He begins, "When we are weak, then we are strong in Christ". He leaves me with that and all it does is confuse the heck out of me. Why is he talking like Yoda from Star Wars? This man is odd to be sure, but there is something about him that I can appreciate. The four of us line up once more, count off our numbers and expectations, and begin transitioning back to the unit.
Once I am back in the unit, I head straight to my room. I pull out a piece of paper and try to write that girl a letter in response, but all I can think about is what Mr. Skyler told me. What did he mean by "When we are weak, then we are strong in Christ"? I decided to write my note later on. I do my regular set of push-ups and then I lay down in bed and fall fast asleep. I hope tomorrow is a better day.
***Stay Tuned For Part 10***
-David Lee Chu Sarchet
Christian Mental Health Advocate
Check out the Christ-Centered Mental Health Ministry Website
No comments:
Post a Comment