"Ah, how I love life!" I say as I sit on my front porch while puffing on my Cuban cigar. The scenery from my viewpoint looks so serene as I look down on the City of Foolish Infidels. I really do pity all of those ingrates who live there. I know that as an undercover detective, my primary duty is to protect and serve these people. But, I can't help but notice how much I am better than these poor scoundrels. I have a lot more going for myself than these people. I am truly blessed by the Lord. Sure, I may not have a wife, but who would want to marry any of these whores anyway? Not me! I am perfectly content with living inside this log cabin in the mountainous woods with my Labrador retriever, Bucky. He is very faithful to me and he is literally my best friend. I do not particularly trust people, but I definitely trust my dog.
Unfortunately, I have to take a trip to town to gather some groceries for the month. I hate going into town because I really do not like talking to the common folk of the City of Foolish People. They can tell that I am better than they are and so they intentionally disrespect me. I do not care because if they ever try to cross me, I will immediately remind them that I am the law. They are required to give me respect. I do not have to respect them, but they better show me the respect that I deserve. I get up from my kitchen table because I just finished my breakfast: scrambled eggs, bacon, and pancakes. A literal breakfast for champions. I put my plate, fork, and knife into the sink. I will wash them later when I get home. Next, I walk to my hallway closet to grab my leather coat. It is in the middle of December, so it is freezing outside. Bucky comes up to me while wagging his tail. He must think that I am going to take him out for a walk.
"No, Bucky," I calmly tell him as I pat his head, "I am not taking you for a walk, but here is a treat". I had him a bacon bite. He loves those things. Then, I head outside toward my Ford F-150 and get inside. The inside of my truck is frigid cold. So, as soon as I start my truck up, I turn on the heat. It should get warm enough before get into town. As I am driving, I notice one of my patrolmen has just pulled over an African-American elderly man. I wonder what he ever did, but I just ignore the incident because I am sure Officer Tatum has it handled. He is one of the good officers who live in the City of Foolish People. I turn on my police radio and instantly I hear the dispatcher say that there has been a report about a murder at 1955 Swearinger Drive. The dispatcher says that I need to get there asap. Damn, I was hoping for a peaceful day today, but of course, something just HAD to happen to change that, right?
I pull a U-Turn and start driving toward that godforsaken dump called Swearinger Drive. I hate that neighborhood with a passion because it is the worst part of the City of Foolish People. Even the most foolish of the people do not even live in that area. You have got to be a special kind of idiotic to live in that dumpster fire. As I pull up to the driveway of that house, I see a small Mexican child running around in his underwear. What kind of pathetic excuse of a parent lets their child run around outside in their underwear? I stop my truck and step outside. Then, I walk up to the front door with my hand on my gun. I bang on the door twice. Nothing happens. I bang twice again. Still nothing. I decide to kick the door down and yell out "CSPD!" As I am scanning the house, I do not see anything at first. I walk into the kitchen. There is nothing out of the ordinary. Then, I walk into the bathroom. I still see nothing. Then, I walk into the bedroom, and there I see the body of a young woman who is lying on the floor with her throat slashed. Blood is everywhere. There is no sign of anyone else around. I walk up to the woman so I can check her pulse. She is stone-cold dead. I drop an expletive. I walk around the room so that I can see if there is any evidence of a suspect. That is when I see some dog fur. It looks like the dog fur of a Labrador. I can only tell this because of Bucky. It is the same color as Bucky's fur too. I guess that whoever this murderer is has a love for dogs too, especially Labradors. I guess not everyone in the City of Foolish People is completely idiotic. However, if this person was truly intelligent like I am, then he would move out of this pathetic city.
I turn on my walkie-talkie and tell the police dispatcher that I need a medic to come out here immediately. She tells me that she will send one out right away. I know a medic cannot help this woman at all, but it is just protocol. It takes the damn medics a full thirty minutes to show up. It is pathetic that it took them this long. All I want to do is get back in my truck and go to the grocery store. The medics showed up and talked to me for a good minute about this woman and immediately I realized that I forgot to ID her. This is when I reach into her purse to grab her wallet. According to her ID, her name is Melonie Veska. I know this woman! She is my ex-girlfriend from two years ago. Man, I wonder who her crazy self pissed off this time. Deep down I kind of relieved that someone finally took care of her because she truly was a menace to society, even by this City's standards.
As the medics wrap her in a body bag, I walk to my truck and get back inside it. As I am pulling out of the driveway, I begin heading to the Kroger grocery store. Hopefully, my day does not have any more surprises. I arrive at the Kroger grocery store's parking lot. Then, I start walking toward the store, but first I grab a shopping cart. Every idiot in this city keeps giving me these dirty looks. What the hell is their problem today? I know that I am a superior human being compared to them, but they do not need to show their jealousy. Why can't these morons just be normal for once? I guess I am expecting too much from the people of the City of Foolish People.
After about forty-five minutes of shopping around, I head to the cashier. The cashier is some snot-nosed Gen-Z punk with green and pink hair and painted nails. He looks like a damn freak of nature. What happened to this generation? I remember back in the day when people were actually normal, but now it seems like everyone has lost their minds. Except for me. I am supremely intelligent and good-looking.
"Is this all you want?" The Gen-Z freak asks me and immediately get irritated by his piss-poor excuse for customer service. I look at his nametag. It says "Derek". What a average, but boring name. I politely tell him that yes this is all I want. He rings me up and tells me that my total is $115. Wow, this is literally highway robbery. I pay what I owe and then I have to bag up my own groceries. What kind of hogwash is this? Whatever happened to the days when the store clerk actually bagged your groceries for you? I am irritated so much because I should be treated like royalty. I should not be bagging my groceries like some common peasant. I take my groceries to my truck and load everything in the back. Then, I get back into my truck and begin driving out of the parking lot.
It takes me about half an hour to get back to my house. As soon as I step inside, Bucky approaches me. I put my groceries down on the kitchen table and proceeded to pet my dog. He literally is my best friend and family. I love how he is always excited to see me. I reach over to my groceries and start to unpack them. Afterward, I grab the dog leash and put it on Bucky. He deserves to go on a walk today. He gets excited whenever he knows that I am going to take him for a walk. We step outside into the frigid cold, but Bucky does not seem to mind the weather. He is just happy to be outside because he does not like to remain cooped up inside all day.
We walk through the words for a good hour or so and then I decide it is time for us to head back home. Once inside, I take my shoes and jacket off and proceed to sit down on my leather couch. Then, I turn. on the television to watch CSI: Miami until I fall asleep. After the day I have had so far, I deserve a good nap. Hopefully, when I wake up the day will get better.
***STAY TUNED FOR PART 2***
-David Lee Chu Sarchet
Christian Mental Health Advocate
Check out the Christ-Centered Mental Health Ministry Website
Unfortunately, I have to take a trip to town to gather some groceries for the month. I hate going into town because I really do not like talking to the common folk of the City of Foolish People. They can tell that I am better than they are and so they intentionally disrespect me. I do not care because if they ever try to cross me, I will immediately remind them that I am the law. They are required to give me respect. I do not have to respect them, but they better show me the respect that I deserve. I get up from my kitchen table because I just finished my breakfast: scrambled eggs, bacon, and pancakes. A literal breakfast for champions. I put my plate, fork, and knife into the sink. I will wash them later when I get home. Next, I walk to my hallway closet to grab my leather coat. It is in the middle of December, so it is freezing outside. Bucky comes up to me while wagging his tail. He must think that I am going to take him out for a walk.
"No, Bucky," I calmly tell him as I pat his head, "I am not taking you for a walk, but here is a treat". I had him a bacon bite. He loves those things. Then, I head outside toward my Ford F-150 and get inside. The inside of my truck is frigid cold. So, as soon as I start my truck up, I turn on the heat. It should get warm enough before get into town. As I am driving, I notice one of my patrolmen has just pulled over an African-American elderly man. I wonder what he ever did, but I just ignore the incident because I am sure Officer Tatum has it handled. He is one of the good officers who live in the City of Foolish People. I turn on my police radio and instantly I hear the dispatcher say that there has been a report about a murder at 1955 Swearinger Drive. The dispatcher says that I need to get there asap. Damn, I was hoping for a peaceful day today, but of course, something just HAD to happen to change that, right?
I pull a U-Turn and start driving toward that godforsaken dump called Swearinger Drive. I hate that neighborhood with a passion because it is the worst part of the City of Foolish People. Even the most foolish of the people do not even live in that area. You have got to be a special kind of idiotic to live in that dumpster fire. As I pull up to the driveway of that house, I see a small Mexican child running around in his underwear. What kind of pathetic excuse of a parent lets their child run around outside in their underwear? I stop my truck and step outside. Then, I walk up to the front door with my hand on my gun. I bang on the door twice. Nothing happens. I bang twice again. Still nothing. I decide to kick the door down and yell out "CSPD!" As I am scanning the house, I do not see anything at first. I walk into the kitchen. There is nothing out of the ordinary. Then, I walk into the bathroom. I still see nothing. Then, I walk into the bedroom, and there I see the body of a young woman who is lying on the floor with her throat slashed. Blood is everywhere. There is no sign of anyone else around. I walk up to the woman so I can check her pulse. She is stone-cold dead. I drop an expletive. I walk around the room so that I can see if there is any evidence of a suspect. That is when I see some dog fur. It looks like the dog fur of a Labrador. I can only tell this because of Bucky. It is the same color as Bucky's fur too. I guess that whoever this murderer is has a love for dogs too, especially Labradors. I guess not everyone in the City of Foolish People is completely idiotic. However, if this person was truly intelligent like I am, then he would move out of this pathetic city.
I turn on my walkie-talkie and tell the police dispatcher that I need a medic to come out here immediately. She tells me that she will send one out right away. I know a medic cannot help this woman at all, but it is just protocol. It takes the damn medics a full thirty minutes to show up. It is pathetic that it took them this long. All I want to do is get back in my truck and go to the grocery store. The medics showed up and talked to me for a good minute about this woman and immediately I realized that I forgot to ID her. This is when I reach into her purse to grab her wallet. According to her ID, her name is Melonie Veska. I know this woman! She is my ex-girlfriend from two years ago. Man, I wonder who her crazy self pissed off this time. Deep down I kind of relieved that someone finally took care of her because she truly was a menace to society, even by this City's standards.
As the medics wrap her in a body bag, I walk to my truck and get back inside it. As I am pulling out of the driveway, I begin heading to the Kroger grocery store. Hopefully, my day does not have any more surprises. I arrive at the Kroger grocery store's parking lot. Then, I start walking toward the store, but first I grab a shopping cart. Every idiot in this city keeps giving me these dirty looks. What the hell is their problem today? I know that I am a superior human being compared to them, but they do not need to show their jealousy. Why can't these morons just be normal for once? I guess I am expecting too much from the people of the City of Foolish People.
After about forty-five minutes of shopping around, I head to the cashier. The cashier is some snot-nosed Gen-Z punk with green and pink hair and painted nails. He looks like a damn freak of nature. What happened to this generation? I remember back in the day when people were actually normal, but now it seems like everyone has lost their minds. Except for me. I am supremely intelligent and good-looking.
"Is this all you want?" The Gen-Z freak asks me and immediately get irritated by his piss-poor excuse for customer service. I look at his nametag. It says "Derek". What a average, but boring name. I politely tell him that yes this is all I want. He rings me up and tells me that my total is $115. Wow, this is literally highway robbery. I pay what I owe and then I have to bag up my own groceries. What kind of hogwash is this? Whatever happened to the days when the store clerk actually bagged your groceries for you? I am irritated so much because I should be treated like royalty. I should not be bagging my groceries like some common peasant. I take my groceries to my truck and load everything in the back. Then, I get back into my truck and begin driving out of the parking lot.
It takes me about half an hour to get back to my house. As soon as I step inside, Bucky approaches me. I put my groceries down on the kitchen table and proceeded to pet my dog. He literally is my best friend and family. I love how he is always excited to see me. I reach over to my groceries and start to unpack them. Afterward, I grab the dog leash and put it on Bucky. He deserves to go on a walk today. He gets excited whenever he knows that I am going to take him for a walk. We step outside into the frigid cold, but Bucky does not seem to mind the weather. He is just happy to be outside because he does not like to remain cooped up inside all day.
We walk through the words for a good hour or so and then I decide it is time for us to head back home. Once inside, I take my shoes and jacket off and proceed to sit down on my leather couch. Then, I turn. on the television to watch CSI: Miami until I fall asleep. After the day I have had so far, I deserve a good nap. Hopefully, when I wake up the day will get better.
***STAY TUNED FOR PART 2***
-David Lee Chu Sarchet
Christian Mental Health Advocate
Check out the Christ-Centered Mental Health Ministry Website
LORD JESUS bless you.
ReplyDelete