However, my mother has put me through a lot but later I would find out she suffered from a mental disorder called schizoaffective disorder. Schizoaffective Disorder is Schizophrenia mixed with a mood disorder such as Bipolar or Depression. She never once acknowledged her mental illness nor did she ever desire to seek treatment for it either. As a result, her mind slowly detoriated to the point where at the end of her life all she did was talk to her voices in her head and smoke cigarettes. But, she did live a full life because she managed to marry three times and even ran her own martial arts studio at one time and she traveled the world too. Anyways, I digress.
One summer on my 13th birth year, I was staying with my sister Virginia and her husband Ben for a two week vacation and they took me to their church. I do not remember much about the sermon but I do remember at the end the pastor gave an alter call and my sister asked me if I would like to give my life to Jesus. I did not yet understand what that meant but I thought that she wanted me to do that so I said yes for her sake. So we approached the alter and the pastor came up to me and led me in the Sinner’s Prayer. As we were praying that prayer, I snuck a peak at my sister and seen her crying. I did not understand why she was crying because I thought this is what she wanted! Even though I didn’t fully understand what was going on, I believe that it was at this time the Lord took ahold of my life and led me on the path towards a sold out life for Him.
One night after I returned home to my parents I remember I was eavesdropping on a phone call between my mom and a 9–1-1 operator and she was requesting an officer come by to give her and I a lethal injection. I didn’t know exactly what a lethal injection was at the time but I knew it had to do with dying. I decided at that moment that I wanted to die with my mom so I spoke up and told the dispatcher exactly that. She immediately sent out an officer at that moment. The officer eventually took my mom and myself to the local Colorado Springs, Colorado crisis center where we were both eventually put in mental hospitals. I was sent to Pueblo State Hospital and she was at a hospital called The Lighthouse.
Eventually, I was sent into foster care where I was in the house of a man and woman named Randy and Carolyn Lugenbeel and all of a sudden I was around seven or eight other guys! This was a shock to me because I was used to being the only child so it took me a long while to adjust. In God’s sovereign providence, He made sure I was put into the custody of godly foster parents who always treated me well. However, this was the time my own hallucinations began. I would Frequently see a giant fly laughing at me. My depression really started to take affect too and I was eventually put on antidepressants. These did nothing for me, except cause me to gain weight.
At the age of fifteen, I was sent into my biological father’s custody in California. I admit when I heard he lived in California, I had high hopes for a luxurious lifestyle because at the time I really glamourized California, but I was in for a rude awakening. My father lived in an old trailer that was dirty with my younger brother and two dogs. My half brother may have been younger than me but he was more mature than me and stronger than me so I instantly began to look up to him as if he were my older brother. I wanted to look, act, and dress just like him, which eventually got on his nerves. Needless to say, him and I would get into a lot of arguments which would end with him wanting to fight me and I would always back down. My father would frequently instigate us to fight each other. My father also kept boxes and boxes of pornographic magazines around the trailer where we had easy access to them. This is where I had my first experience looking at the naked female body and I became obsessed. My father also tried to get my brother and I to drink alcohol at one time he too.
Eventually, my Depression came back because I started comparing myself to my brother. I literally felt inferior to him in every way. It was during this time I decided to attempt to take my life. After that failed and I came home from the hospital, I decided to start cutting my arms. The rush I felt when I cut my arms was exhilarating! Eventually, I was sent back to the hospital, where my father visited me and called me “f*kin stupid” in front of the whole hospital. I decided at that moment to tell the staff that if they sent me back to him I will run away. The staff notified CPS and since the State of California did not want to deal with that they sent me back to Colorado. I eventually went back to Randy and Carolyn.
Later, my caseworker and guardian ad litem wanted to try to send me into the custody of my sister Virginia but when that failed, I felt utterly alone and rejected by everyone. I felt as if no one loved me and so I decided that the only way to get people to love me is by making them think I was a hero. So I decided to set a fire inside my foster home. I thought if I could rescue everyone then they would love me. As a result, I wound up in a juvenile detention center and later a youth treatment center for two and a half years.
During this time, the Lord really was with me because even in detention He made sure I had some godly influence in my life. However, it was during this time that I was diagnosed with Bipolar Type 2 Disorder. I felt an immediate shame and anger. I was ashamed to be labeled as mentally ill and I was angry at my mom. But then later that anger turned towards God. I couldn’t understand why God would give me a mental illness. I knew I couldn’t do anything to Him so I decided to take out my anger on His people. I would go to the Wednesday night Bible study to play “stump the teacher” where I would intentionally ask him questions I knew he couldn’t answer in order to make him look foolish. I would make fun of and ridicule my peers who were Christian and I even would speak blasphemies against God. It was during this time, I suffered a delusion where I believed I was the antichrist and I would see a hallucination of a man named Tom. Tom would Frequently tell me to do things to get me in trouble with the staff. I also started cutting myself again. I also developed bisexual attractions too.
After I got out of the treatment center at the age of 19, I had to go to a group home. This also was the Lord’s providence because at the time I was institutionalized for so long that I wouldn’t have made it very long if I was out on my own. The group was a former church in Canon City, Colorado so it still had a cross imprint above the front door and across the street was a church with a huge cross in its front yard. So every day when I would go outside or inside I would see the cross, which would annoy me. I ended up hating God even more while I was there. One time I yanked the Bible out of a staff member’s hands and ripped it up and threw it back at him. And I even manipulated a mentally disabled boy into snorting laundry detergent too. My hatred for God and people knew no bounds, but God was patient with me. Eventually, I was able to move out into my first apartment.
One day I remember I was on the porch of my apartment complex when the Mormons came to visit me. I knew nothing about the Mormons at the time but I decided to study the Bible for the sole purpose of refuting them. However, the Lord used that point to draw me to Himself and I finally surrendered my life to Him. I started to attend a local Vineyard Church and I got plugged into a home Bible study where I made some connections with people whom I communicate with to this day.
The Lord eventually led me into studying apologetics which in turn led me to Reformed Theology and now I attend a Reformed Presbyterian Church with my beautiful and supporting wife.
I have recently been diagnosed with Schizoaffective Disorder Bipolar Type 1 but I am on the right medication that helps keep me stable. Through everything The Lord has been a faithful Father to me and He has proven His word to be true in my life. Romans 8:28 is my life verse because I now realize that all things do truly work out for the good of those who loved God. These days, I am a mental health advocate in the Body of Christ and I founded the Christ-Centered Mental Health ministry where we focus on bringing the Gospel to the mentally ill community while educating the Church on mental health awareness. My mom and stepdad have passed away but I had the privilege of leading them to the Lord before they died so I fully expect to be reunited with them one day. My biological father and I are not close but we still talk from time to time. I don’t hold any anymosity towards him but I do pray for his salvation all the time. God is good. The Lord has taken some one who was once a blasphemer and pursecutor Of His people and turned him into a sold out defender of the Gospel of Jesus Christ who loves the Lord as much as he can. My life isn’t perfect by any means but I look forward to His return when I will reign with Him on the New Heaven and New Earth where there will be no more sin, sorrow, suffering or death. What a glorious time that will be! Soli Deo Gloria!
-David Lee Chu Sarchet
Christian Mental Health Advocate
Check Out The Christ-Centered Mental Health Ministry: https://www.christcenteredmentalhealth.org/
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