Dealing With Consequences Of Mania, But Covered By The Grace Of God In Christ

 

A few months ago, I wrote a blog titled Dealing With A Narcissistic Relationship? GET OUT NOW! where I talked about my experience with my ex, Natasha Ortiz, and how she has been currently harassing my wife and me. Well, I have been reminded that a while back she threatened to publicly display some photos of me where I am not shown in a very flattering light. It is true that many years ago, I was caught acting in ways that were unbecoming of someone who professes the name of Jesus Christ. The truth is during the time I was with my ex, I was severely mentally unstable due to being misdiagnosed and wrongly medicated too. This does not excuse my behavior. Mental illness never excuses sinful behavior, but it does provide the context for sinful behavior because it can lead one into sinful actions. I do take full accountability for the wrong things that I did but I just want people to understand that everything I did was because of my mental instability. I have dealt with the shame of my previous actions as they still haunt me to this very day. The purpose of this blog is to encourage those of you who struggle with feelings of shame because of a manic episode you have been in. 

In the gospel of John chapter 19:30, Jesus says, "It is finished" after taking a sip of the sour wine the Romans offered him because He was thirsty. At that moment, our Lord breathed His last breath and all of our sins (past, present, and future) were erased. This means that our sins, regardless of whether they were done in our right minds or not, were completely forgiven because the penalty was paid for in full. God will never hold anything we ever do against us because all of God's wrath has been fully satisfied by Christ on the cross. If this were all that God left us with, that would be enough, but there is more to the story because our Lord literally rose from the dead! 

Since Christ has risen from the dead, His resurrection means a new life for those of us who are in Him. My life is not my own because I belong to my Lord Jesus Christ and it is because of His resurrection that I am literally a new creation. This is not poetry but it is literally true of me. This means that my sins or even my mental illness do not define who I am. Your sins or your mental illness don't define who you are. What defines us is who we are in Christ. According to 1 Peter 2:9, we are a "chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession..." Our identity must be based on what Christ and what He has done for us and not on anything else whatsoever. We should say along with the Apostle Paul in Galatians 2:20 that "I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave himself for me." When we adopt this mindset, we will understand that our identity is Christ living inside of us, not who our clinical diagnoses say we are. The Lord is supreme and His word is true and His word defines reality. Thus, we can trust what His word says about us. 

Personal Apology: 

I would like to tell Natasha Ortiz that I am personally sorry for my behavior during the time when I was manic and for how my actions may have affected her. I have never meant to hurt her, but I do understand that my actions have left a deep scar on her. I hope and pray that she can and will truly forgive me and that she will one day come to know the forgiveness of the great Lord and Savior Jesus Christ in a personal salvific way. I hope she understands that I do live with this shame and that she will eventually decide to leave my wife and me alone. 

Supportive Wife: 

I am very thankful to the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ because through all of this harassment has been standing by my side. My wife understands that I tend to do things that I do not mean to do while manic and she chooses not to hold them against me because she loves me with the love of Christ. God has really shown me how much He loves me through the way she demonstrates His love. It is vitally important that those of us who have a mental illness have a support system of people who care for us around us at all times because it is dangerous for us to be alone especially when we are feeling feelings of shame. I would highly recommend that you take the time to identify who your support system is and thank God for them and then take some time to show them some appreciation too. 

I really thank you for taking the time to read this blog and I hope that you found it edifying to you and glorifying to the Lord Jesus Christ. May the grace of God richly bless you all!! 

-David Lee Chu Sarchet 
Christian Mental Health Advocate 

Check Out The Christ-Centered Mental Health Ministry Website

Check Out The Other Christ-Centered Mental Health Ministry Website