***The Following is a Fictional account of a man named Skyler Clark who struggles with Schizophrenia. This is not about me. There might be some triggering subject matter. If you are easily triggered, do not read this. ***
It's been two weeks since I've been out of the hospital and since I have accepted the fact that I have this mental illness. I feel a whole lot more stable mentally. My relationship with my wife has definitely improved too. I no longer think that she does not have my best interest in mind. I understand that she truly loves and supports me. I am very fortunate to have a woman like her. Dr. Goodman says that I will deal with this Schizoaffective Disorder for my whole life, but that with the use of medication, I can still live a pretty productive and fulfilling life. That really does give me hope because I thought I was bound to live a horrible life. The medication has really been helpful, but sometimes I still see my hallucinations. Like the other day at the park, I saw the flying cat again and it was laughing at me. However, I just ignored it this time. Also, I noticed that I am a lot more friendlier toward people these days. A man walked up to me and asked me for a cigarette and I gave him two cigarettes and told him I hope he has a good day. It feels good to be nice to people. I realize how arrogant I was behaving without my medication, but now I see people in a whole different light. My Risperidone has really been a life changer. However, there are these negative side effects, though. For instance, my memory seems to not be as good as it once was and I do not feel as energetic as I used to be either. But, I figure this is the price to pay for mental stability. I do not want to go back to how I was. The benefits far outweigh the negatives.
"Baby, How are you feeling today," My wife asks me in her sweetest tone of voice. I love this woman so very much. I tell her that I am much better. I feel like going back to the park for my daily walk. I don my MP3 Player and head out of the door. On the way out, I greet the mailman and he gives me a rude look. I guess he must be having a bad day. I hope it gets better. On the way to the park, a car almost runs into me and I just wave at him with a smile. I am determined not to let anything ruin this good day. All of a sudden, Bill Gates's voice breaks into my thoughts, but it is muffled.
"....build...Enterprise" He says. I just quietly laugh to myself. I cannot believe that these hallucinations will not leave me alone. Maybe I need a medication increase. I will talk to Dr. Goodman about this on the next visit. For now, I am just going to turn up the volume on my MP3 Player and focus on my music. I am currently listening to Eminem's Not Afraid. I love this song so much, even though I hate Eminem. I typically think that he is an overrated rapper, but this particular song is good, though. I think it is the best song he has ever made.
As I approach the park, I see an old man playing chess. I decide to ask if I can join him. He says yes, but I warn him that I am pretty darn good. He just smiles at me and tells me, "We'll see about that, young buck". This man is cocky. However, to my surprise, he beats me in only three moves! What the heck? I decide to challenge him to another round. This time I won't go so easy on him. This time he beats me in only two moves! He laughs at me and says, "I thought you were good?" I decide that I do not want to challenge him again. I've suffered enough humiliation for one day. Instead, we end up just chatting. He tells me his name is Mr. Romero and I tell him my name. He then asks me if I am from around here and I tell him that I am actually from California.
"What brings you to Colorado, son?" He seems perplexed. I tell that I met my wife over Facebook and he just smiles at that and says, "Marriage is a beautiful thing. I've been married about 35 years."
I am surprised by this, so I ask him what his secret is. He then proceeds to tell me that his secret is his love for a man named Jesus Christ. This seems odd to me. I heard about Jesus when my mother used to take me to church on Sundays as a kid, but I did not exactly know anything about him. I ask him to please elaborate because I am genuinely interested.
"Well, before I came to know the Lord, I was a mean drunk. I used to beat my wife both emotionally and physically too. I would get into all kinds of fights with people at the bar. Sometimes I would win, but sometimes I would lose. However, when I would lose, I would come back with a vengeance because I was not going to let someone get away with beating me up..." I immediately thought of the African-American man at Burger King. He goes on to say, "I actually beat up a man so badly that I left him within an inch of his life. As a result, I wound up in prison for twenty years. While in prison, a chaplain told me about Jesus Christ, and I accepted Him as my Lord and Savior. He completely changed my life around. I immediately became more loving to my wife and I became more loving towards other people too. I am literally a new man." I decided that I would like to know more about this Jesus guy because if He could change this man's life, then maybe He can help me. I ask Mr. Romero to tell me more about Jesus. This immediately causes him some excitement.
"You see, about 2,000 years ago, a man appeared on the scene in Israel. But, this man was more than just a man. He was actually God. This God-Man preached about the forgiveness of sins and performed many miracles too. He then was beaten and hung on a cross to die. His disciples abandoned Him because they thought all hope was lost. Then, three days later, this God-Man did something truly remarkable. He literally rose from the dead and appeared to five hundred witnesses. Afterward, these twelve disciples went around preaching about Jesus Christ and commanding everyone to repent."
"What does it mean to repent?" I ask. Mr. Romero straightens his back this time before saying," Repentance is turning away from your sin and placing your complete faith in Jesus Christ instead." I ask him what sin means. "Don't you know anything, son?" He asks with a smile and then says, "Sin is breaking God's laws"
"You mean, like the Ten Commandments?"
"Yes!" He exclaims, "We have all broken His commands and so we all need God's forgiveness in Christ." He then reaches into his backpack and pulls out a Bible. He marks a page in the Bible and tells me to read the Gospel of John. "The Gospel of John will tell you everything you need to know about Jesus and how to be saved," I tell him to thank you as I take the Bible from him. Then, I look at my watch and see that it is 5:00 pm. My wife is probably cooking dinner and wondering where I am. I decide to tell Mr. Romero that I have to go now, but I thank him for his time. I then begin walking home.
As I am walking home, I cannot help but think about what Mr. Romero said about Jesus Christ. I always knew God existed, but is it truly possible for God to come down as a man? It seems unbelievable. According to Mr. Romero, this Jesus performed miracles. I wonder if He could perform a miracle to take away my Schizoaffective Disorder like He changed Mr. Romero. I decided that after dinner I will read The Gospel of John before bed because I do want to know more about this Jesus character. He seems pretty amazing.
I arrive home and my wife asks me where I've been. I knew she would be worried. I assure you that I was fine and I was just at the park. I tell her all about Mr. Romero and how he was whooping me at chess.
"That is a surprise because you are usually good at chess, hun." She says. I just smile and say that I guess he was better. I then tell her how he was telling me about this man named Jesus and she seemed very interested. I showed her the Bible that he gave me and told her how I am interested in reading it. She seemed to approve. We then sat down at the table to eat some home-cooked lasagna. I love lasagna!
Stay Tuned For Part 5 Of This Series...
-David Lee Chu Sarchet
Christian Mental Health Advocate
Check out the Christ-Centered Mental Ministry Website
Check out the other Christ-Centered Mental Health Ministry Website
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