***The Following is a Fictional account of a man named Skyler Clark who struggles with Schizophrenia. This is not about me. There might be some triggering subject matter. If you are easily triggered, do not read this. ***
It has been a few days since I have been discharged and things have been great. My mind has been much more clear and the hallucinations have not really been bothering me as much either. I mean, I still have breakthrough hallucinations from time to time, but they are much easier to disregard. I praise the Lord for modern medicine. I have accepted the fact that I will be dealing with this mental illness for the rest of my life, but I am glad that I have a good psychiatrist and a good church, and a great wife. I do not know what I would do without my support system. Things between my wife and I have gotten a lot better too. I can help out more around the house and my wife is even enjoying bonding with me more too. This morning when I woke up, my wife and I made out for about ten minutes before my alarm went off signifying that I need to take my morning dose of medication. I groaned because I was really enjoying our time together.
"It's alright, babe," She coos, "Take your medication and come back so we can continue this make-out session". She winks at me and I hurry to the bathroom to get my medication. As I am coming back to the bedroom, I see my wife still laying down on her side of the bed. She pats the bed with her left hand, beckoning me to join her. Sarah is so sexy. I jump into the bed and we begin making out again. After about twenty minutes, she says that she has to get ready for work. She then gets up and starts to get dressed. I sigh and she tells me that she will be back home later today and we can make out again. I get excited at that thought.
As my wife is leaving the house, I decide that it is time for me to get on the computer to start filling out that application for Social Security Disability. I walk toward the desktop computer and then I hear Bill Gates' muffled voice.
"...Skyler... you.... moron," He says, but I intentionally choose to ignore him. It is getting pretty pathetic how these hallucinations will not give up no matter how much I ignore them. It is almost as if they have nothing better to do with their lives. I sit down at the computer and turn it on. It takes a minute to turn on because it is an old computer. I think we've had it for about fifteen years. Yeah, we got it as a wedding gift. Ah, I remember those days. Sarah still looks just as beautiful today as she did back then. However, it is time for us to get a new computer, though. I think as soon as I get my SSDI, I am going to save up for a new computer for us. The computer finally turns on and I go to the Social Security website.
As I am filling out the application, I become increasingly more agitated with all the questions they are asking. They want to know everything about me! They are asking about my wife's income, how much money I made last year, if I am currently employed, who was my previous three employers, and much more. Why the heck are they wanting to know so much? It seems a little like an invasion of my privacy, but I guess they just want to make sure that I am not trying to scam the government. They are very thorough. I decide to break for some coffee so I get up from the desk and head to the kitchen.
As I am getting the Keurig ready, I see the flying cat, except this time he looks like he is fading. I just shake my head and he disappears. It is pretty funny how these hallucinations seem to love harassing me. As soon as the Keurig is done brewing my coffee, I grab the cup and head back to the desk to continue filling out the application. I pray a silent prayer to God that He helps me get approved. We definitely could use the money and I am being as honest and straightforward as possible.
Once I finished filling out the SSDI application and submitted it, I decided that I want to do something special for Sarah as a surprise. So, I decided to get on the phone with the local florist to order a bouquet to be delivered to her at her job. I call the number and a female answers.
"Yeah, I would like to order a bouquet of roses for my wife" I calmly say. I think the woman on the other hand can sense my excitement. She asks me if I would like a special message attached to it. I tell her to attach a message that says, "I thank the Lord for putting you in my life and I love you forever and always, babe!"
"Ok," She says, "And would you like this for pickup or delivery?" I tell her it is for delivery and she asks for the delivery address. I tell her what the address to my wife's nail salon is. She tells me that the price is going to be $25.99. That's pretty steep, but completely worth it. I give the nice lady my debit card information and tell her thank you.
"The bouquet and message will be delivered today at 5 pm," She says and I tell her that's fine. We then say goodbye and hang up the phone. I cannot wait to see her face when she returns from work. I then head to the Living Room couch and sit down and turn on the television to some Big Bang Theory.
All of a sudden, I see the man with the bat. This time he is clear as day and I freak out because he should not be so clear. Why is he so clear? He tells me that I cannot go on ignoring him forever. I shake my head again and he disappears. I breathe a sigh of relief that he is gone and I continue watching my show until I fall asleep.
While I am sleeping, I end up having a wonderful dream about my and my wife's wedding ceremony. In the dream, I see her in her dress and it takes my breath away. As she is walking down the aisle, I hear the song by Coffey Anderson called Better Today. That was not playing at our actual wedding, but it is a nice touch, though. I love that song because it reminds me of how my wife really does make me into a better man.
I end up waking up to my wife walking in the house and I stand up to greet her. I see her with the bouquet in her hands and a huge smile on her face. As she places the flowers down on the table, she runs straight into my arms and we begin kissing.
"I adore the flowers, babe!" She exclaims loudly before saying that she married the best man ever. I feel like I married the best woman ever. She heads to the kitchen and begins cooking our dinner and I head to the couch to watch more television. After about half an hour, she tells me that dinner is ready and I turn the television off and start heading to the dining room table. As we are eating dinner, she is telling me about her day and I am listening intently. She tells me about how she had a rude customer get angry because we could not give her a discount and she threatened to sue the company. I did not know that there was so much drama at a nail salon. She also tells me how she got some pretty good tips from other customers too. I told her how I submitted the application to Social Security and about my dream too.
"I am surprised that you remember my wedding dress," She says with an excited tone of voice. I tell her that of course, I do because she looked so mind-blowing in it. I then tell her how she still looks just as beautiful today. She tells me that she loves me and I tell her that I love her too. After dinner, I offer to take care of the dishes so that she can get relax a little. She tells me that makes her relieved to hear me say that and then she heads to the Living Room and puts on a ten-minute workout video. I guess that is her version of relaxing.
As I am washing the dishes, I am imagining what life would be like once I get approved for SSDI. Maybe I could officially afford to take my wife out to one of those fancy restaurants she always enjoys. Maybe we could rent a log cabin for our anniversary too. That would take both of our incomes, though. The possibilities are endless. I know that the Lord will provide for us because He already has provided greatly. I realize that my wife is not a Christian so I start thinking about how I am going to share the Gospel with her. I'd love nothing more than to be the one to lead her to the Lord. I pray silently for the opportunity to be able to tell her the Gospel.
After I finish the dishes, my wife and I head to the bathroom together to brush our teeth and then we change into our sleeping clothes. Once we are ready for bed, we both turn off the lights and climb into bed together. Then, we begin making out for what seems like an eternity. An eternity of bliss that I do not want to end. This is what Heaven probably feels like. Afterward, we end up falling asleep in each other's arms. I dream that night about taking my wife out to a Murder Mystery Dinner. It is a good dream because I know how much she loves those. For the very first time in a while, I actually sleep the whole night peacefully.
Stay Tuned For Part 11 Of The Series...
-David Lee Chu Sarchet
Christian Mental Health Advocate
Check out the Christ-Centered Mental Health Ministry Website
Check out the other Christ-Centered Mental Health Ministry Website
"It's alright, babe," She coos, "Take your medication and come back so we can continue this make-out session". She winks at me and I hurry to the bathroom to get my medication. As I am coming back to the bedroom, I see my wife still laying down on her side of the bed. She pats the bed with her left hand, beckoning me to join her. Sarah is so sexy. I jump into the bed and we begin making out again. After about twenty minutes, she says that she has to get ready for work. She then gets up and starts to get dressed. I sigh and she tells me that she will be back home later today and we can make out again. I get excited at that thought.
As my wife is leaving the house, I decide that it is time for me to get on the computer to start filling out that application for Social Security Disability. I walk toward the desktop computer and then I hear Bill Gates' muffled voice.
"...Skyler... you.... moron," He says, but I intentionally choose to ignore him. It is getting pretty pathetic how these hallucinations will not give up no matter how much I ignore them. It is almost as if they have nothing better to do with their lives. I sit down at the computer and turn it on. It takes a minute to turn on because it is an old computer. I think we've had it for about fifteen years. Yeah, we got it as a wedding gift. Ah, I remember those days. Sarah still looks just as beautiful today as she did back then. However, it is time for us to get a new computer, though. I think as soon as I get my SSDI, I am going to save up for a new computer for us. The computer finally turns on and I go to the Social Security website.
As I am filling out the application, I become increasingly more agitated with all the questions they are asking. They want to know everything about me! They are asking about my wife's income, how much money I made last year, if I am currently employed, who was my previous three employers, and much more. Why the heck are they wanting to know so much? It seems a little like an invasion of my privacy, but I guess they just want to make sure that I am not trying to scam the government. They are very thorough. I decide to break for some coffee so I get up from the desk and head to the kitchen.
As I am getting the Keurig ready, I see the flying cat, except this time he looks like he is fading. I just shake my head and he disappears. It is pretty funny how these hallucinations seem to love harassing me. As soon as the Keurig is done brewing my coffee, I grab the cup and head back to the desk to continue filling out the application. I pray a silent prayer to God that He helps me get approved. We definitely could use the money and I am being as honest and straightforward as possible.
Once I finished filling out the SSDI application and submitted it, I decided that I want to do something special for Sarah as a surprise. So, I decided to get on the phone with the local florist to order a bouquet to be delivered to her at her job. I call the number and a female answers.
"Yeah, I would like to order a bouquet of roses for my wife" I calmly say. I think the woman on the other hand can sense my excitement. She asks me if I would like a special message attached to it. I tell her to attach a message that says, "I thank the Lord for putting you in my life and I love you forever and always, babe!"
"Ok," She says, "And would you like this for pickup or delivery?" I tell her it is for delivery and she asks for the delivery address. I tell her what the address to my wife's nail salon is. She tells me that the price is going to be $25.99. That's pretty steep, but completely worth it. I give the nice lady my debit card information and tell her thank you.
"The bouquet and message will be delivered today at 5 pm," She says and I tell her that's fine. We then say goodbye and hang up the phone. I cannot wait to see her face when she returns from work. I then head to the Living Room couch and sit down and turn on the television to some Big Bang Theory.
All of a sudden, I see the man with the bat. This time he is clear as day and I freak out because he should not be so clear. Why is he so clear? He tells me that I cannot go on ignoring him forever. I shake my head again and he disappears. I breathe a sigh of relief that he is gone and I continue watching my show until I fall asleep.
While I am sleeping, I end up having a wonderful dream about my and my wife's wedding ceremony. In the dream, I see her in her dress and it takes my breath away. As she is walking down the aisle, I hear the song by Coffey Anderson called Better Today. That was not playing at our actual wedding, but it is a nice touch, though. I love that song because it reminds me of how my wife really does make me into a better man.
I end up waking up to my wife walking in the house and I stand up to greet her. I see her with the bouquet in her hands and a huge smile on her face. As she places the flowers down on the table, she runs straight into my arms and we begin kissing.
"I adore the flowers, babe!" She exclaims loudly before saying that she married the best man ever. I feel like I married the best woman ever. She heads to the kitchen and begins cooking our dinner and I head to the couch to watch more television. After about half an hour, she tells me that dinner is ready and I turn the television off and start heading to the dining room table. As we are eating dinner, she is telling me about her day and I am listening intently. She tells me about how she had a rude customer get angry because we could not give her a discount and she threatened to sue the company. I did not know that there was so much drama at a nail salon. She also tells me how she got some pretty good tips from other customers too. I told her how I submitted the application to Social Security and about my dream too.
"I am surprised that you remember my wedding dress," She says with an excited tone of voice. I tell her that of course, I do because she looked so mind-blowing in it. I then tell her how she still looks just as beautiful today. She tells me that she loves me and I tell her that I love her too. After dinner, I offer to take care of the dishes so that she can get relax a little. She tells me that makes her relieved to hear me say that and then she heads to the Living Room and puts on a ten-minute workout video. I guess that is her version of relaxing.
As I am washing the dishes, I am imagining what life would be like once I get approved for SSDI. Maybe I could officially afford to take my wife out to one of those fancy restaurants she always enjoys. Maybe we could rent a log cabin for our anniversary too. That would take both of our incomes, though. The possibilities are endless. I know that the Lord will provide for us because He already has provided greatly. I realize that my wife is not a Christian so I start thinking about how I am going to share the Gospel with her. I'd love nothing more than to be the one to lead her to the Lord. I pray silently for the opportunity to be able to tell her the Gospel.
After I finish the dishes, my wife and I head to the bathroom together to brush our teeth and then we change into our sleeping clothes. Once we are ready for bed, we both turn off the lights and climb into bed together. Then, we begin making out for what seems like an eternity. An eternity of bliss that I do not want to end. This is what Heaven probably feels like. Afterward, we end up falling asleep in each other's arms. I dream that night about taking my wife out to a Murder Mystery Dinner. It is a good dream because I know how much she loves those. For the very first time in a while, I actually sleep the whole night peacefully.
Stay Tuned For Part 11 Of The Series...
-David Lee Chu Sarchet
Christian Mental Health Advocate
Check out the Christ-Centered Mental Health Ministry Website
Check out the other Christ-Centered Mental Health Ministry Website
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