It has been a while since I last updated you all on my current status. Normally, I do these life updates in video format, so this is the first time I'm doing it as a blog post. The purpose of this blog is not to draw attention to myself by glorifying my mental illness. The purpose of this blog is to give the reader encouragement to know that it is all right for a Christian to deal with a mental illness. I understand that mental illness is still very much a taboo subject in the Body of Christ. The reason for this is that many Christians do not want to expose themselves as a mentally ill person, or they are ashamed of a loved one who deals with mental illness. As a mental health advocate, it is my duty to help Christians become more comfortable acknowledging their problems instead of feeling like they are outcasts in the Body of Christ. It is a shame how so many Christians are quick to help someone homeless, drug addicted, or a prostitute, but they ignore those of us who suffer with an "invisible disability". I will try my best in this blog to be as open and transparent with you as possible. This blog will be separated into three categories: Hallucinations/Delusions, Mania/Hypomania, and Medications. Again, I am not bragging or boasting about my disability in this blog. I just want to highlight for people my experience in the hopes that it will help someone who is dealing with something similar. I also want to help someone better understand what someone like me is going through, too. As the Scriptures say, we are to "weep with those who weep and rejoice with those who rejoice" (Romans 12:15). I believe that this verse is telling us to be in relationship with other believers so closely that we literally can experience what each other is experiencing. I know that no two people will completely understand what someone is experiencing fully, but as we grow closer to one another, we can better identify with one another. I will now elaborate on my three categories.
Hallucinations/Delusions
This is a situation that I deal with quite frequently, but it is exacerbated in church settings. Some of you may already know this, but I deal with hallucinations telling me that I am God and that people are praying to me. When I am not properly medicated, it is especially difficult for me to sit through an entire church service without being bombarded with these hallucinations. However, since I have been on this cocktail of medications, the hallucinations and delusions seem to be kept at bay. I still sometimes hear breakthrough hallucinations, but they are much easier to ignore these days. Sometimes I will hear breakthrough hallucinations whenever I am talking to someone whom I care for, and they tell me to hit them in the face. These hallucinations have become easier to ignore, too. My psychiatrist once told me that if I were able to quit smoking, then the medication would do its work a lot easier. I praise God that he seems to have been correct.
Mania/Hypomania
This is something that I frequently deal with, mostly these days. As a matter of fact, I deal with mania and hypomania more than I deal with depression. In case you are wondering what these words even mean, "mania" is characterized by extremely high mood fluctuations to the point of becoming delusional. "Hypomania" is characterized as a milder form of mania, and it can lead to high-risk behavior, such as overspending and sleeping around. The last time I really became manic was a couple of years ago, after I got out of a really bad argument with my father that led me into this manic episode. As a result, I did things such as calling the police to brag about how I "personally heard from Donald Trump," and I did other really bad things during that episode. I ended up going to the mental hospital for a few days because of that. These days, I have not really dealt with any mania episodes, but I have still been dealing with some hypomania. It is for this reason that I leave my wallet at home when I go out to places because I know that if I have my wallet on me, then I will be tempted to blow through all of my money. I need to learn to give my wife my debit card whenever I fall into this episode, though.
Medications
Ok, this is where things become quite controversial because I know that a lot of professing believers really have some issues with someone like me taking psychiatric medications. I used to feel the same way that they do. As a matter of fact, I used to be so ashamed of taking medications that I would refuse for many years. It is because of that that my illness gradually became worse over time. This is why I am so adamant in telling Christians who struggle with mental illnesses to keep taking their medications, because I do not want them to fall into the same dilemma that happened to me. I know that someone with a mental illness may feel fine without their medication for a while (even many years), but their mental health is gradually getting worse the longer they refuse to take medication. The way that I see it, there is no shame in taking psychiatric medications. People would never tell a diabetic person that it is shameful for them to take insulin shots because they know that if the diabetic person does not have their shot, then they could die. Well, in the same way, if someone with a mental illness does not take their medication, then they can end up either dead or in prison. I am not over-exaggerating. This is a life and death situation when it comes to us taking our medication. If you feel like the medication you are currently on, or if you do not like the negative side effects, then tell that to your psychiatrist. The more honest and transparent you are with your psychiatrist, the easier it will be for them to help you. And do not feel discouraged if you cannot find the right medication right away. It took me over a decade to find the right medication that works for me, but it was all worth it in the end because not only does my medication work, but there are very minimal side effects, too. In case you are wondering what medication I am on, I will list them here:
Morning
Lamotrigine 100mg
Olanzapine 10mg
Evening
Oxcarbazepine 600 mg
Quetiapine 400 mg
2 Olanzapine 20 mg
I am glad that you took the time to read my blog, and I hope that it helped you to better understand the mindset of someone like me. If you are someone with a mental illness, then I hope that this blog helped you realize that there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. "Normalcy" is relative anyway because every single human being has their own unique struggle in life. All we need to do is keep our eyes focused on Jesus Christ, and He will guide our paths through this life. Thank you very much for taking the time to read my blog, and may the grace of Christ richly bless you all!
-David Lee Chu Sarchet
Christian Mental Health Advocate
Check out the CCMH Ministry Website
Hallucinations/Delusions
This is a situation that I deal with quite frequently, but it is exacerbated in church settings. Some of you may already know this, but I deal with hallucinations telling me that I am God and that people are praying to me. When I am not properly medicated, it is especially difficult for me to sit through an entire church service without being bombarded with these hallucinations. However, since I have been on this cocktail of medications, the hallucinations and delusions seem to be kept at bay. I still sometimes hear breakthrough hallucinations, but they are much easier to ignore these days. Sometimes I will hear breakthrough hallucinations whenever I am talking to someone whom I care for, and they tell me to hit them in the face. These hallucinations have become easier to ignore, too. My psychiatrist once told me that if I were able to quit smoking, then the medication would do its work a lot easier. I praise God that he seems to have been correct.
Mania/Hypomania
This is something that I frequently deal with, mostly these days. As a matter of fact, I deal with mania and hypomania more than I deal with depression. In case you are wondering what these words even mean, "mania" is characterized by extremely high mood fluctuations to the point of becoming delusional. "Hypomania" is characterized as a milder form of mania, and it can lead to high-risk behavior, such as overspending and sleeping around. The last time I really became manic was a couple of years ago, after I got out of a really bad argument with my father that led me into this manic episode. As a result, I did things such as calling the police to brag about how I "personally heard from Donald Trump," and I did other really bad things during that episode. I ended up going to the mental hospital for a few days because of that. These days, I have not really dealt with any mania episodes, but I have still been dealing with some hypomania. It is for this reason that I leave my wallet at home when I go out to places because I know that if I have my wallet on me, then I will be tempted to blow through all of my money. I need to learn to give my wife my debit card whenever I fall into this episode, though.
Medications
Ok, this is where things become quite controversial because I know that a lot of professing believers really have some issues with someone like me taking psychiatric medications. I used to feel the same way that they do. As a matter of fact, I used to be so ashamed of taking medications that I would refuse for many years. It is because of that that my illness gradually became worse over time. This is why I am so adamant in telling Christians who struggle with mental illnesses to keep taking their medications, because I do not want them to fall into the same dilemma that happened to me. I know that someone with a mental illness may feel fine without their medication for a while (even many years), but their mental health is gradually getting worse the longer they refuse to take medication. The way that I see it, there is no shame in taking psychiatric medications. People would never tell a diabetic person that it is shameful for them to take insulin shots because they know that if the diabetic person does not have their shot, then they could die. Well, in the same way, if someone with a mental illness does not take their medication, then they can end up either dead or in prison. I am not over-exaggerating. This is a life and death situation when it comes to us taking our medication. If you feel like the medication you are currently on, or if you do not like the negative side effects, then tell that to your psychiatrist. The more honest and transparent you are with your psychiatrist, the easier it will be for them to help you. And do not feel discouraged if you cannot find the right medication right away. It took me over a decade to find the right medication that works for me, but it was all worth it in the end because not only does my medication work, but there are very minimal side effects, too. In case you are wondering what medication I am on, I will list them here:
Morning
Lamotrigine 100mg
Olanzapine 10mg
Evening
Oxcarbazepine 600 mg
Quetiapine 400 mg
2 Olanzapine 20 mg
I am glad that you took the time to read my blog, and I hope that it helped you to better understand the mindset of someone like me. If you are someone with a mental illness, then I hope that this blog helped you realize that there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. "Normalcy" is relative anyway because every single human being has their own unique struggle in life. All we need to do is keep our eyes focused on Jesus Christ, and He will guide our paths through this life. Thank you very much for taking the time to read my blog, and may the grace of Christ richly bless you all!
-David Lee Chu Sarchet
Christian Mental Health Advocate
Check out the CCMH Ministry Website
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