Dealing With Consequences Of Mania, But Covered By The Grace Of God In Christ

 

A few months ago, I wrote a blog titled Dealing With A Narcissistic Relationship? GET OUT NOW! where I talked about my experience with my ex, Natasha Ortiz, and how she has been currently harassing my wife and me. Well, I have been reminded that a while back she threatened to publicly display some photos of me where I am not shown in a very flattering light. It is true that many years ago, I was caught acting in ways that were unbecoming of someone who professes the name of Jesus Christ. The truth is during the time I was with my ex, I was severely mentally unstable due to being misdiagnosed and wrongly medicated too. This does not excuse my behavior. Mental illness never excuses sinful behavior, but it does provide the context for sinful behavior because it can lead one into sinful actions. I do take full accountability for the wrong things that I did but I just want people to understand that everything I did was because of my mental instability. I have dealt with the shame of my previous actions as they still haunt me to this very day. The purpose of this blog is to encourage those of you who struggle with feelings of shame because of a manic episode you have been in. 

In the gospel of John chapter 19:30, Jesus says, "It is finished" after taking a sip of the sour wine the Romans offered him because He was thirsty. At that moment, our Lord breathed His last breath and all of our sins (past, present, and future) were erased. This means that our sins, regardless of whether they were done in our right minds or not, were completely forgiven because the penalty was paid for in full. God will never hold anything we ever do against us because all of God's wrath has been fully satisfied by Christ on the cross. If this were all that God left us with, that would be enough, but there is more to the story because our Lord literally rose from the dead! 

Since Christ has risen from the dead, His resurrection means a new life for those of us who are in Him. My life is not my own because I belong to my Lord Jesus Christ and it is because of His resurrection that I am literally a new creation. This is not poetry but it is literally true of me. This means that my sins or even my mental illness do not define who I am. Your sins or your mental illness don't define who you are. What defines us is who we are in Christ. According to 1 Peter 2:9, we are a "chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession..." Our identity must be based on what Christ and what He has done for us and not on anything else whatsoever. We should say along with the Apostle Paul in Galatians 2:20 that "I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave himself for me." When we adopt this mindset, we will understand that our identity is Christ living inside of us, not who our clinical diagnoses say we are. The Lord is supreme and His word is true and His word defines reality. Thus, we can trust what His word says about us. 

Personal Apology: 

I would like to tell Natasha Ortiz that I am personally sorry for my behavior during the time when I was manic and for how my actions may have affected her. I have never meant to hurt her, but I do understand that my actions have left a deep scar on her. I hope and pray that she can and will truly forgive me and that she will one day come to know the forgiveness of the great Lord and Savior Jesus Christ in a personal salvific way. I hope she understands that I do live with this shame and that she will eventually decide to leave my wife and me alone. 

Supportive Wife: 

I am very thankful to the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ because through all of this harassment has been standing by my side. My wife understands that I tend to do things that I do not mean to do while manic and she chooses not to hold them against me because she loves me with the love of Christ. God has really shown me how much He loves me through the way she demonstrates His love. It is vitally important that those of us who have a mental illness have a support system of people who care for us around us at all times because it is dangerous for us to be alone especially when we are feeling feelings of shame. I would highly recommend that you take the time to identify who your support system is and thank God for them and then take some time to show them some appreciation too. 

I really thank you for taking the time to read this blog and I hope that you found it edifying to you and glorifying to the Lord Jesus Christ. May the grace of God richly bless you all!! 

-David Lee Chu Sarchet 
Christian Mental Health Advocate 

Check Out The Christ-Centered Mental Health Ministry Website

Check Out The Other Christ-Centered Mental Health Ministry Website

 

Is Suicide The Unforgiveable Sin?

 

As some of you may know already, actor and MMA fighter Jason David Frank recently committed suicide. His departure was as controversial as it was tragic. The reason it's so controversial is that Jason was  a professing believer in Jesus Christ and many Christians are divided on whether or not he was truly saved. I would like to say that we should be very careful about pronouncing judgment on someone we do not even personally know, but also this dispute is indicative of a larger controversy within Christendom. That controversy is over the topic of whether or not suicide is an unforgivable sin. Regardless of where you fall on this debate, we should be concerned with what the Bible says if it says anything at all. Unfortunately, the Bible is silent concerning this topic so we can only infer based on what some texts say. However, one can build a pretty strong case based on Scripture that suicide is not unforgivable and the people who say that it is unforgivable have more in line with Roman Catholicism than with the Bible. That fact alone should bother any devout Protestant Christian! In this blog, I shall attempt to give a pretty strong case for why suicide is not unforgivable based on the text in Romans 8:37-39. If you are not familiar with that text it says, 

"No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor demons, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord"

In this text, the Apostle Paul is clearly talking about how nothing in all of creation will be able to separate us from God's love. This means that no circumstance, health problem, spiritual force, or anything else in all creation will ever keep us from the love of God. We cannot even keep ourselves from His love. And notice how Paul says, "neither death nor life" in this text and he did not specify that he only meant natural death either. So, we can only assume that he was speaking about all death in general. This would include suicide as a form of death and so we can say that the Apostle Paul would conclude that not even the sin of suicide can separate us from God's love. But, you may now ask, "So, what? Aren't we all loved by God?" Hold on a second because that is not what Scripture teaches and this text is specifically about believers. However, if we turn to Psalm 11:5 we read, 

"The Lord tests the righteous, but his soul hates the wicked and the one who loves violence" 

Did you catch that? God hates the wicked. So if God literally hates the wicked and yet in Romans 8:37-39 Paul tells us that believers cannot be separated from God's love, then it is safe to say that God only loves those whom He is saving. In other words, only those who call on the name of the Lord are loved by God and are hence not going to ever be separated from Him. 

You may now ask me, how can one repent after he has already committed suicide? However, for everyone who puts their faith in Christ all our sins in the past, present, and future have already been forgiven! Furthermore, by that logic, if you needed to ask for forgiveness for every sin you ever committed otherwise your salvation would be in jeopardy then we would all be doomed because we all sin every day in our thoughts, words, and deeds. If you ever gave some one the bird who cut you off on the freeway, you would be in trouble if in the next second someone ran you down and killed you. The  good news is that according to Ephesians 1:3-6 we believers were predestined for salvation before the foundations of the world. If you are not familiar with that text, it says, 

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundations of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love, he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he blessed us in the Beloved" 

God predestined us for salvation and this means that He even predestined how we would die too. Some people were predestined to die by suicide while others by other means, but this does not mean that our salvation is predicated by the specific way that we died. No, our salvation is determined by God alone who predestines us for salvation by the grace of Christ alone. 

As tragic as Jason's death was, if he was truly a believer then he is with the Lord right now. My heart goes out to his family because I cannot even imagine how they must be feeling. We should be in prayer for his wife and children whom he left behind but we should not condemn him for what he did. Suicide and Depression are serious business and the last thing these people need is for crazy fundamentalists to breathe condemnation down their throats. This is an opportunity for those of us who truly know Christ to share the love of Christ with these people or with anyone we know who is hurting. We need to uplift the brokenhearted because that is what Christ was truly about in the business of doing. If you know someone who is depressed please do not heap more guilt and shame on them because that is not what they need. What they need is to know that you care and you are there for them. Do not be like Job's "miserable counselors" who were of use as a friend and ultimately were rebuked by God. 

-David Lee Chu Sarchet 
Christian Mental Health Advocate 

Check out the Christ-Centered Mental Health Ministry Website

Check out the other CCMH Ministry Website

Schizophrenia & Smoking

 

There is a very disturbing trend amongst those of us who struggle with Schizophrenia. According to Web MD, roughly over 80% of people with our disorder smoke cigarettes. On the one hand, I know why smoking cigarettes appeals so much to us (I am a long-time smoker myself) but on the other hand, I know just how detrimental this practice really is. If you are someone who struggles with Schizophrenia and is a smoker, then this blog is written specifically for you and I want you to know that I do not cast any judgment on you whatsoever because I can identify with you. Smoking cigarettes is a tough habit to break for anyone, especially for those of us with mental illness. In this blog, I shall talk about the pros and cons of cigarette smoking and then give some tips on how to quit smoking too but keep in mind that these tips are what I have found to help me. You may find that there are other things that many other things may help you or you may have some new ideas to implement after reading this blog. Regardless of what you decide to do, the decision should be made solely by you and you alone after you consider all the information. 

As I previously stated, there are some positive things about smoking cigarettes when you are dealing with Schizophrenia. These positive things are what make smoking so appealing to us too. Some of these are the following: 

-Reducing Stress 
-Suppress Hallucinations 
-Suppress Mania 
-Suppress Delusions 

I fully understand why one would choose to remain smoking because experiencing mania, hallucinations, and delusions is not fun. These experiences actually lead one to feel intense feelings of shame which could then lead one to feelings of depression and suicidal ideation. So, when you consider this it really does make a whole lot of sense why people would decide it is better to smoke to alleviate the symptoms of Schizophrenia. 

However, even though there are some positive things to smoking cigarettes, they are canceled out by all the negative things. These things include the following: 

-Causes You To Urinate Your Medication 
--Causes You To Have Increased Anxiety When Not Smoking 
-Destroys Physical Health Such As Heart, Lungs, Teeth, ETC... 

Even if you do not care about your physical health, it should bother you that cigarette smoking causes you to urinate your medication. It should bother you because then your medication will not have its full effect, which could lead to more hallucinations, delusions, and mania. This, in turn, can lead you to either death or imprisonment. So, you must do whatever it takes for you to maximize the use of your medication. 

Now, here are some tips that may help you quit smoke (if that is what you decide): 

-Going For A Walk 
-Nicotine Gum, patches, or lozenges (If you cannot afford these, you can get a limited supply from the 1-800-QUITNOW line)
-Get An Accountability Partner 
-Replace Smoking With A Healthy Hobby 
-Meditate on God's Word 
-Spend Time With God in Prayer 

As I said, I know how difficult it is for people to quit smoking. As a matter of fact, I have failed just today even though I have gone just about two months without smoking. However, I am reminded of Romans 8:1 which says, 

"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus" 

If you have failed, it is perfectly fine. You are not condemned because Jesus has taken your condemnation upon Himself at the cross. Keep that in mind as you move forward in His grace. 

I really do appreciate you taking the time to read my blog and I hope that you found this edifying to you and glorifying to God. May the grace of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ richly bless you all!! 

-David Lee Chu Sarchet 
Christian Mental Health Advocate 

Check Out The Christ-Centered Mental Health Ministry Website

Check out the other ministry website

Why The Social Justice Mindset Is BAD For Mental Health!

 

In modern times there is a phenomenon that has swept our world by storm and has even infiltrated many churches within the Body of Christ too. What is this cultural phenomenon you ask? It is called the Social Justice Warrior mindset. As someone who was once a huge proponent of this mindset, I am very familiar with this movement. I used to think of myself as a revolutionary who was merely "fighting for the rights of the oppressed minority". In reality, however, I was actually expressing very racist rhetoric that was harming not only other people but it was harming my own mental health. If it seems odd that I am saying it was harming my own mental health, it is because you have never heard anyone talking about the Social Justice Mindset in such a way. In this blog, I shall be discussing five different ways that this mindset is harmful to mental health and I hope that after you read this you will understand how dangerous this mentality really is. However, for the people who are living under a rock, I think it would help if I briefly explained what the Social Justice Warrior mindset really is about because there are a lot of misconceptions about it. The Social Justice Warrior mindset is an ideology that supports and promotes Critical Race Theory, LGBTQIA, and Feminism as a whole. This is important to note because some people think that an SJW is someone who just holds to one of these views but in reality, one can only be called a Social Justice Warrior when they support and even promote all three of these ideologies together. On the surface, being a Social Justice Warrior seems like it is honorable and it does have a certain appeal to it too. After all, who does not want to see justice be done on earth? Also, most of us have the desire to want to be a part of something significant and so this mentality makes us feel like we are significant. So, what could actually be so bad about this mindset? I will discuss the five ways this mindset is bad now. 

Perpetual Victimhood Stance: 

This mindset leads the people who hold to it into a state of perpetual victimhood. What I mean by this is the fact that these people are always behaving with some sort of martyr complex. They are always looking to blame someone else and they never take responsibility for their own actions. An example of this is when certain types of people cry racism because a store manager followed them but they fail to acknowledge that they were looking suspicious. Another example is when these people cry foul when the police pull them over but fail to realize that they were pulled over for speeding. These people do not want to take responsibility nor are they even capable of taking responsibility for their behavior. In these people's minds, everything is always other people's fault but never their own. They are always the victim of some kind of nefarious system that is built to be against them. 

Forever Angry:

You can always spot a Social Justice Warrior from miles away because they always seem to be full of anger. It is not righteous anger. The reason that these people are always angry is that they always see themselves as the victims of some sort of abuse. No matter what is going on these people will always find something negative to point out in every situation. Since they are perpetually angry all the time, it leads them to express their anger with some very hateful rhetoric. For example, when I was subscribing to this mindset, I would constantly refer to "white people" as "caucazoids" as a way to dehumanize them. However, when I would refer to them with this term it did not do anything to make me personally feel any better about myself. The problem is these people are so obsessed with their own sense of justice that any kind of justice they receive will never be enough because they literally want blood. 

Isolationist:

People who subscribe to this harmful mentality tend to isolate themselves from anyone in their life who is healthy. The reason for this is that healthy people do not want to be around someone who is constantly negative and angry all the time. So the healthy people tend to avoid people with this mindset and since we are social creatures these people will either be alone with their anger or they will seek out people like them. As a result, these people end up drawing more angry and negative people around them because "misery loves company". These people will then feed off of each other's negativity and anger and pain. 

False Sense of Purpose:

I mentioned earlier in this blog that most of us desire to be something significant in this life. I firmly believe that most of the appeal to the Social Justice Warrior mindset is that it allows its adherents to feel like they are part of something "bigger than themselves". None of us want to think that we are insignificant and this mindset helps us feel important because it makes us feel like we are the catalyst for social reform. These people honestly believe that without them that this world would truly suffer and that it is because of their own brilliance and wit that the world will prosper. This mentality leads them to believe that they offer something to the world that we otherwise would be lost without. 

Entitlement Mentality: 

The final thing that makes this mentality so harmful to mental health is the fact that it leads its adherents into a state of perpetual entitlement. What I mean by this is the fact that these people truly believe that since they are always the victim then the world somehow needs to make things up to them. These people believe that to solve their victimhood the world owes them resources and happiness and comfort. The problem with this is that these people will never be satisfied no matter if they receive anything they ask for. The government can offer to give them a million dollars and it will not be good enough because they will think they deserve much more. The issue is they do not want to work for what they have. They merely want everything given to them because they think that is what they deserve. 

I hope that this blog has shed some light on the dangerous mindset of the Social Justice Warriors and that next time you come across one you will have a better understanding of their mentality. Thanks for reading this blog and may the grace of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ richly bless you all! 

-David Lee Chu Sarchet 
Christian Mental Health Advocate 

Check out the Christ-Centered Mental Health Ministry Website

Check out the other ministry website

Should Christians Engage In Inner Child Therapy?

 

If you have been in therapy for any length of time, the chances that you may hear of Inner Child Therapy are extremely high. This type of therapy is very popular amongst therapists and it seems to have a lot of success with individual clients too. However, the question remains should Christians engage in this sort of practice? It may seem like it has a lot of success amongst the average client who engages in therapy, but we should be more concerned with what the Scripture says concerning such practices. Before I answer that question, I need to explain what is Inner Child Therapy. 

What is it exactly? 

From what I understand, Inner Child Therapy is a therapeutic exercise where the client will look back on herself as a child. She will then speak to her "inner child" telling her the affirmations that she would have wanted an adult to tell her when she was a child. The reason this therapeutic technique is very successful is that it allows the client to face some trauma that they experienced in childhood with the adult hindsight that they currently have. Many people really love this exercise because everyone experiences some sort of trauma in their life and it really does feel good to finally process that trauma. Trauma can be something as simple as losing a favorite childhood blanket that one's parents gave them. A traumatic event can trigger a certain core belief that one develops as a child and a core belief can be something such as "I am a bad person". So, what the client would do in Inner Child Therapy is they would speak directly to their "inner child's" core beliefs and tell him or her positive affirmations that would replace their negative core beliefs. Many people resonate with this practice because deep down we all have a deep-seated need to be validated. We all desire and seek validation from someone or something and this form of therapy provides us with that much-desired validation. But, is it biblical? 

What Does The Bible Say? 

The underlying presupposition behind Inner Child Therapy is that children are inherently innocent and thus we should approach our inner child selves as if they are innocent and harmless. The idea is that our inner child selves have been deeply harmed by the world and thus we need to speak positive affirmations into their lives to bring about healing. However, the Bible rejects the notion that children are innocent. Psalm 51:5 tells us, 

"Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me"

According to this text, children are naturally born into sin and thus are not innocent. As a result of Original Sin, the heart is "deceitful and wicked above all things" (Jeremiah 17:9). Anyone who honestly believes that children are innocent has never had any experience with children.  So, why should we approach our inner child as if it is innocent when we understand that we are all born inherently corrupt? Already, it seems as if this form of treatment is on some rocky ground. In actuality, we should approach children as if they are "vipers in diapers" as Pastor Voddie Baucham would so eloquently put it. This means that we handle them with care but at the same time we understand that there is nothing good in them.   The idea of reaching out to some innocent "childlike" version of ourselves is nothing more than a myth, not grounded in biblical truth. 

Another problem with this sort of therapy is the idea of looking back into our past for some kind of healing from trauma. The Apostle Paul tells us instead to look forward and forget what is behind us. In Philippians 3:13-14, he tells us, 

"Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus"

While "talking" to our inner child concerning past trauma may seem to provide some relief, ultimately it does us no good to focus on the past. The Apostle Paul knew that if we are to fulfill the calling that the Lord has called us to be doing, we must forsake the past and look forward to what is ahead of us. I can hear the question already being asked by my audience: "So, are you saying that we should never do any work toward facing our trauma?" That is not what I am saying at all. Of course, there is a benefit to working with a therapist in confronting childhood trauma. However, the problem comes when we become hyper-focused on the past and we are no longer looking to what is ahead. If we are so focused on our past, then we are not going to be able to complete the good work that the Lord has for us now. I believe that this is the point that Jesus was making in Luke 9:62 when He says, 

"No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God" 

Finally, the last issue that the Bible has concerning the topic of Inner Child Therapy is that it causes people to be focused too much on the ways of a child when we should instead be focused on what we are to do as adults. The Apostle Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 13:11, 

"When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways." 

What Paul is saying here is that there comes a time in our lives when we should not look to the ways of being a child anymore. Instead, we should focus on what the Lord would have us do as grown people. When we were children, it was perfectly acceptable for us to behave as children. However, when we are adults, there is something repulsive about seeing a grown man or woman behaving childishly. I am not saying that an adult must always behave maturely or even that an adult must never have a childish moment either. However, we do not need to look to our inner child selves for some kind of validation. 

What is the Biblical solution? 

You must be wondering right now if Inner Child Therapy is not the right answer to resolving our trauma, then what is the Bible's solution? The answer is quite simple, yet very profound. We are called to not ground our identities in our trauma, but to instead find our validation solely in our identity in Jesus Christ. As the Apostle Paul tells us in Galatians 2:20, 

"I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave himself for me." 

Paul tells us that we should so find our identity in Christ that we see Himself living through us. This means that our lives no longer belong to ourselves. No matter what trauma you have faced in this life it does not define who you are. What truly defines who you are is your identity in Christ. What does your identity in Christ mean exactly? It means that we are "a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light" (1 Peter 2:9). As a result of this new identity, we are literally new creations in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17) and our past no longer has any hold on us. We can finally be free to let go of any trauma and to live our lives free for Jesus Christ who bought us with his precious blood when He sacrificed Himself on our behalf on a roman cross. Three days later, our Lord literally rose from the dead to give us all a new life where we can be in eternal communion with the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. 

I thank you for taking the time to read my blog and I hope that this has helped you figure out if Inner Child Therapy is appropriate for Christians to engage in. If your therapist or psychiatrist is attempting to get you to engage in this form of therapy, tell them that it goes against your beliefs and ask them to move on to something else. If you have engaged in this therapy, or decide that you want to engage in this therapy, do not fret because according to Romans 8:1 you are not condemned if you are in Christ Jesus. Please pass this blog on to someone that you think may help and leave a comment below. May the grace of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ richly bless you all! 

-David Lee Chu Sarchet 
Christian Mental Health Advocate 

Check Out The Christ-Centered Mental Health Ministry Website

Check out the other ministry website

A Biblical Perspective On How To Cultivate Wise Mind

For anyone who has gone through any amount of therapy, the chances that you will most likely hear the terms "Wise Mind", "Emotion Mind", and "Rational Mind" are highly likely. These terms stem from the type of therapy called Dialectal Behavioral Therapy (DBT) and they are backed up by substantial evidence. But, what exactly do these terms even mean and how do they relate to the Christian life? In this blog, I will explain what each of these terms means from a therapeutic standpoint and then I will give the biblical explanation for how you can cultivate the Wise Mind. It is important to know the difference between the "Emotion Mind" and the "Rational Mind" so that you can better know how to use your "Wise Mind". It is also important to know that neither the "Emotion Mind" nor the "Rational Mind" is completely good or bad. Both sides have their good aspects and their bad aspects. I will discuss the pros and cons of both of these in this blog. Do not get discouraged if you find that you do not yet fully encapsulate the "Wise Mind" because it literally takes an entire lifetime to fully understand. Everyone seems to vacillate between these three phases all of their lives so it is perfectly normal for you to not be where you need to be always. 

Emotion Mind: 

The Emotion Mind is when we make decisions based solely off of emotional reasoning. This means that we tend to make our decisions very rashly and impulsively. We do not take the time to properly investigate or think clearly about any given situation. Everything seems to be highly dramatic because we tend to be in "panic mode" and we feel that if we do not act quickly then everything will go wrong/ An example of this is when I found out my mother was homeless, I decided to act impulsively by giving up my home to go out to another state to find her and bring her back to my state. I acted on impulse because I was afraid that if I waited a day longer then something terrible would happen to my mom. Obviously, there are pros and cons to this mindset. One pro to this mindset is that when you are in accord with your emotions, you tend to be more sympathetic to the plight of others. A con about this mindset is that if you are always acting on impulse then you will destroy either your own life or someone else's life or possibly both of your lives. 

Rational Mind: 

Rational Mind is when we tend to think solely about the facts and nothing about the facts. If you imagine Dr. Spock from Star Trek and how he was always thinking purely rationally and showed absolutely no emotion then you have a perfect idea of what this looks like. When we think with our Rational Mind, we tend to not be impulsive and we tend to only make decisions after we have thoroughly thought about every detail exhaustively. Obviously, there are some pros and cons to this mindset as well. One pro is that when we think with our Rational Minds, we will not be quick to make harmful decisions. However, a con about making decisions based on the Rational Mind is that we will not take into consideration how our decisions will affect the emotional well-being of others. We will be so cold and calculative that emotion will never even register in our minds. An example of someone using the Wise Mind is when a husband decides that he will work overtime at the office because he feels his family needs more money, but he neglects to tell his wife who is expecting him home by a certain time for a special anniversary dinner. He may be thinking rationally about what he needs to do to support his family, but he is not considering how his decision will affect his relationship with his wife. 

Wise Mind: 

When we make decisions based off of our Wise Mind, we are taking the best from both our Emotion Mind and our Rational Mind and putting them together. Wise Mind will help us think rationally about any given decision we are about to make without neglecting the emotional effects it will have on other people. This is the preferable mode that we should all strive to make our decisions from. Returning to the example of the husband considering working overtime, if he were thinking with his Wise Mind, he would consider the fact that his wife is preparing a special anniversary dinner for him and so she will be hurt if he does not come home when she is expecting him. He will then think to himself that it probably would not be wise for him to work overtime that night but he could always work overtime the next night instead. Wise Mind would dictate that he should spend his anniversary night with his wife over working late at the office. His income will not suffer if he skips one night of overtime but his relationship may suffer if he misses his anniversary with his wife. 

How The Bible Helps Us Cultivate Wise Mind? 

"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction" -Proverbs 1:7 

The word of God tells us that true wisdom begins with the fear of God. When we live our lives in reverence for God, then we will take extra caution to make sure that our lives do not displease Him. This does not mean that we will do this perfectly because we will always struggle with sin. However, this does mean that as the Holy Spirit is sanctifying us, we will strive to live a life that is honoring to our King. We will not want to do anything to bring Him dishonor because our desire is to always please Him. 

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths." -Proverbs 3:5-6 

I love this simple, yet profound verse. When we are trusting in God with our whole heart, we will acknowledge that only He has infinite wisdom in every situation. This means that we do not have a full understanding over the situations in our lives and thus we cannot ever make an informed decision without consulting with God first. Whenever we are faced with any decision, no matter how big or small they seem to be, we should always take it to God before acting. In everything we are to acknowledge Him always by understanding that His ways are higher than our ways and His thoughts are higher than our thoughts. We should always bring our anxieties to the Lord as 1 Peter 5:7 tells us, but we should also know that God is currently working out every situation ultimately for our good (Romans 8:28). God alone is sovereign over everything in all creation and so we can trust Him completely. 

I hope that this blog helps you better understand how you can cultivate Wise Mind in your life instead of making decisions based on Emotion Mind or Rational Mind. Thank you for taking the time to read my blog and I hope you found this edifying to you and glorifying to God. May the grace of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ richly bless you all! 

-David Lee Chu Sarchet 
Christian Mental Health Advocate 

Check Out The Christ-Centered Mental Health Ministry Website

Check out the other CCMH Ministry Website

 

How Do You Help Someone With Mental Illness Who Refuses To Get Help?

 Introduction: 

As some of you may or may not know, I am not the only person in my life who struggles with Schizoaffective Disorder Bipolar Type. I have spoken about my late mother's struggle with this specific mental illness elsewhere, but what many of you do not know about her is that unlike myself she refused treatment all of her life. It did not matter how much I would attempt to reason with her about seeking professional help, she completely disregarded all of my pleas. It is not that she was afraid to seek help, but she honestly did not believe that there was anything wrong with her. This is a common phenomenon amongst those of us who struggle with various mental illnesses (I know I have dealt with this plenty of times myself!). I have found that many people feel at a loss when they have a loved one who struggles with mental illness and will not seek help. These people feel as if everything is hopeless. It is precisely for this reason that I am deciding to write this blog to tell you how to help that specific loved one in your life. The advice in this blog, I believe, will not only help you in understanding your loved one and it will ease your mind too. If you follow the advice in this blog, I know that it will help you see your loved one, not as a freak of nature, but as a child of God who is made in His image. I confess that while my mother was still alive, I did not follow my own advice and I have a lot of regrets for how I reacted to her when she was unstable. So, please do not think that I am above fault when you are reading this. I have made my fair share of mistakes and it is because of the mistakes that I have made that I am equipped to tell you what works and does not work when dealing with a loved one who is mentally ill. The advice I am giving is the same advice that I hope those closest to me will follow when dealing with me at my most unstable of times. My hope and prayer for anyone reading this blog will walk away from it feeling more confident in their own ability in dealing with a loved one with mental illness. I will not lie to you and tell you that it is easy. Actually, it will be one of the toughest things you will ever do in your life. This is why this task is not for just anyone. You must have a real heart for your loved one to be there for them in their unstable times because they will push you to your limits. 

Another Confession: 

The inspiration for the writing of this blog is credited to my lovely wife, Lydia Sarchet. That woman has perfectly demonstrated true Christlike love and patience for me in such a way that it causes me to feel unworthy of her love. The Lord has truly blessed me with a wonderful woman and through her, I realize that I am in awe of His mercy and grace. I have put my wife through so much turmoil in the short time that we have been married, yet she still remains by my side through everything. I am not sure what she was expecting when she said yes to marrying me, but I am sure that our marriage has not gone exactly the way she planned it to go. That is the thing about God: when we make plans, He laughs! My wife has demonstrated the advice I am about to give in this blog much better than I ever could with my own mother. For this reason, I love her all the more with my whole heart. 

Learn As Much As You Can 

It may be difficult but it is incumbent upon you to learn everything you can about your loved one's specific mental illness. They may not be interested in learning about their own illness, but this does not mean that you should be equally apathetic. If you are going to be of any kind of help to your loved one, then you need to know about your loved one's illness. There are a wide variety of books out there on specific mental illnesses written from the perspectives of people who struggle with their illnesses and from mental health professionals too. I would recommend that you get your hands on some of those books. Also, there are entire YouTube channels dedicated to educating people on mental health too. These channels are run by both people who struggle with mental illness and mental health professionals. One of my favorite channels is called Living Well With Schizophrenia. On that channel, Lauren does an excellent job explaining Schizophrenia to anyone who is not familiar with the disorder. She is not a Christian so her perspective is entirely secular. However, her channel was one of the inspirations for me to start the Christ-Centered Mental Health ministry because I thought that there should be a channel that talked about mental health education from a Christian perspective.  Another way you can learn about your loved one's illness is by asking them directly to describe their experiences to you. This is important because when you do this it will really go a long way in establishing trust between you and your loved one. However, when they open up to you about their experiences, you mustn't argue with them or judge them either. Their experiences are their experiences and they are very real to them. 

Always Be In Prayer For Your Loved One 

I cannot stress to how important prayer is when dealing with a loved one with mental illness. There will be times when the relationship will push you beyond your limits and it will be very difficult to continue loving your loved one. On some days you may even find yourself resenting the person. However, when you are in prayer for your loved one, the Lord rejuvenates your love for them because you see them the way that He sees them. This is important because so often we can get caught up with our own limited perspective that we tend to forget about His perspective. It is precisely for this reason that you must always go to the Lord in prayer concerning your loved one. Do not fall into the trap of thinking that you have it all figured out or that you can manage alone because that is when you will fall. I did not always pray for my mother and I believe that is why I made the mistakes that I made while dealing with her. I believe that if I would have relied more on God then I would not have been so reactionary toward her. Your loved one deserves to have you praying over them. 

Keep Emergency Numbers On Hand 

It is an unfortunate reality that when a loved one with a mental illness will not accept professional help, they may have incidents where they may experience psychosis in public. When this happens you must now know how to respond immediately. You must not delay in your response during this time because every second matters. The longer you stall the more your loved one may spiral out of control until they eventually hurt themselves or hurt someone else. During these moments, it is helpful to keep a list of emergency contacts on you at all times. You can keep them inside your wallet, purse, or even your cell phone. It does not really matter where you keep them as long as they are easily accessible. You must be able to get to them quickly. If you can memorize at least one emergency contact (preferably the one you will most likely be calling), that would be even more helpful. I wish that I would have done this while I was taking care of my mother, but thankfully my mother did not have any periods of psychosis in public around me. You might not be so fortunate so it would be wise for you to carry this list with you at all times. 

Conclusion:

I hope that this has given you a better understanding of what it will take to take care of your loved one with mental illness who refuses to seek any help. I know I said that it will be tough and it will push you to your limits on most days, but at the same time, it is the most rewarding experience. I do not regret ever taking care of my mother during her time of need and I know that she did appreciate me even though she did not know how to always express her gratitude. I would not have traded the experience of taking care of my mother for anything else in the world and if I had the choice to do it all over again I would in a heartbeat. I trust that you will understand what I am saying in time even if it does not seem all that apparent right now. Regardless of your circumstance, you must always keep in mind that your loved one is a human being created in the Imago Dei and thus deserving of the deepest respect and dignity of care. This is not a duty that you should take lightly. My prayer is that you will feel encouraged to continue loving your ones and that you will not give up on them because you may be the only person they have. Thank you for taking the time to read my blog and may the grace of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ richly bless you all! 

-David Lee Chu Sarchet 

Christian Mental Health Advocate 

Check Out The Christ-Centered Mental Health Ministry Website

Check Out The Other CCMH Ministry Website